Love Odyssey: Leader and Genius
by Saya the Ninja Cat
Summary: Warning! Turtlecest! Donatello realizes his true feelings for his brother after... that. Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me! Contains nothing explicit or too graphic! Rated T for Turtle.
1. Prologue

Hey! Welcome to **Love Odyssey: Leader and Genius. **Isn't this exciting? Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning: Turtlecest! LeoxDon Rated T

Disclaimer: We do not own, or claim ownership of, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That's all Nick now.

* * *

"_Master Splinter, guys: __Mikey__ and I wanna tell you sumthin'…"_

That was the beginning of our odyssey as family…. well, _my_ odyssey in this case.

My name is Donatello, I'm a mutant ninja turtle… and a teenager… and the 'genius' of the team, hehe.

I don't know where to start, so I guess I'll start with Raph's and Mikey's weird behavior. Ever since last month, they've stopped fighting and arguing as much. Instead of wrestling and bickering like normal, they're treating each other with kindness and respect. Almost like brothers.

I had suspicions about that.

I had several theories, actually. I thought that perhaps they'd broken something important, and didn't want me to get angry about it. So they'd started trying to fix it themselves. Thus, alliance born. Or maybe they've teamed up to pull a prank on Leo. Or me, worse yet! All remote possibilities.

But they all vanished when I accidentally discovered them kissing in the garage.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I wouldn't judge them for it but… it wasn't right! Was it? We're brothers! Maybe not blood brothers, but brothers nonetheless! Oops, maybe I judged them after all. Anyway, they never knew I saw them.

It was a week later when Raph and Mikey decided to make their announcement to the family. I was worried about how Master Splinter would react. Would he accept them? Would he be disappointed? Would he send them away?

"_What is it my sons?" Splinter asked._

"_We…eh… well, I ain't too sure how to say this but…" Raph said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck._

"_C'mon Raph, you can do it!" Mikey said encouraging him, smiling his biggest smile for support._

"_Let me guess, you broke another toaster and Mikey's an accomplice?" Leo teased them._

"_No! That was, like, three days ago..." Mikey said before Raph smacked him on the head. "Ouch! Hey! I thought we went over that, Raph!" Mikey said angrily._

"_I don't remember," Raph said, crossing his arms._

"_Jeez! And I thought I was safe from your abuse now that we're toge… eh… I mean…" Mikey stuttered nervously, realizing what he just said._

"_My son?" Splinter asked again, lifting an eyebrow curiously. Raph and Mikey stared at each other for a second._

"_Ok, I'll say it! Mikey and I are together," Raph said._

"_And you're telling us because… is that a bad thing…?" Leo asked in confusion._

"_Leo, what Raph means to say is… eh… we're together, but, like, more together than teammates… or friends… or… brothers," Mikey said, blushing slightly._

"_Wait! You're trying to tell us you're-!" Leo said, getting cut off by Raph._

"_A couple," Raph said adamantly, blushing too._

The atmosphere around us was tense and the whole place was quieter than a cemetery. I just wanted to run away, it was too stressful. I just wanted to immerse myself in my projects and pretend nothing had happened. I was so scared by it all… and the funny thing is, I wasn't even the one confessing!

Anyway, long story short. Splinter accepted them, and so did Leo and I. They're our brothers, after all. Splinter had noticed the changes in their relationship them long before their actual confession, even though they'd tried so hard to hide it. It's peculiar, really. You can lie to the whole world, but your parents always seem to know what's the truth.

Ok, so you're probably wondering: '_How is this an odyssey?'_

Good question. It all started when some Purple Dragons were robbing a jewelry store. We went to stop them. Normal, everyday occurrences.

"_Raph, go to the back door and wait for my signal," Leo ordered._

"_Got it." Raph jumped to his designated area, masking himself in the shadows._

"_Mikey, do you see anything?" Leo asked. Mikey adjusted the binoculars at the store's window._

"_Three targets approaching Raph in sector three. We have firearms, Captain! Targets are armed and dangerous! Awaiting command. Over," Mikey said, even though he was standing right next to his two brothers. They rolled their eyes._

"_Don, the smoke bombs?"_

"_Right here and ready to go!" Don said._

"_Ok, Raph… the lights… now!" Leo ordered into his shell cell._

"_Lights out__, goons!" Raph weilded his sais and cut the wiring. The whole place was submerged in black._

"_Hey, Boss. What's going on?" one PD (Purple Dragon) asked, shaken._

"_Let's get outta here!" the leader said, recognizing the situation. The PD's started to make a run for it when they came face to face with a red masked ninja, sais pointing threateningly._

"_I don' think so, boneheads" Raph said twirling both weapons with a smug smile._

"_It's the freaks!" one of the PDs yelled, unhelpfully._

"_Don, you're on!" Leo said. Don flew forward, flipping and throwing three smoke bombs along the shop floor and successfully blurring the PD's' sight._

"_Ok, guys. Let's do this!" Leo said, unsheathing his katanas in a fluid motion._

It was a normal fight, kicks here, and punches there, one or two cuts… nothing special. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was taking care of a punk on my own near the exit, but I didn't notice another coming up behind me. I only remember hearing Leo's voice and then… everything moved in slow motion.

I saw how Leo moved at lightning speed to stand behind me, arms out to create a barrier. I saw how the punk with the knife in his hand thrust it into what he hoped was a turtle. I heard the sharp cry of pain.

The PD's ran away after that, taking advantage of our distraction, and leaving us to stare at a pool of blood and a half-dead Leonardo laying next to it.

Here begins my odyssey… here begins how I, Hamato Donatello, discovered that my love for Leo ran deeper than brotherhood.

* * *

And so ends the prologue... Please read/review! Let us know what you thought!


	2. Chapter 1

Here it is! Chapter two! Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning! Turtlecest! LeoxDon, an epic couple

Disclaimer: We do not claim rights to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

* * *

"Leo's going to need a blood transfusion. Raph, I'll need you to lie down while I prepare the IV. Try to relax." I said, preparing all the materials for the transfusion and finding the intravenous line. We had rushed back home as fast as we could, knowing it was crucial Leo get immediate medical attention. Now, we were in my lab, me running around and grabbing things, Raph and Leo on the cots, and Mikey standing by idly.

"He's gonna be ok, right?" Mikey asked, referring to Raph. Leo had lost a lot of blood, but Raph was going to be the donator.

"Don't worry, Mikey. I'm only going take what's absolutely necessary for Leo. Raph will be a little dizzy, but no more." I calmed my orange-masked brother while my practiced hands quickly and precisely sterilized the needles and secured the tubing. I had to work quickly. No time to be nervous. My brother's life was at stake.

"Mikey, don't worry about me. Leo is the one dyin' here, remember?" Raph said, giving a soft smile at his lover's concern. Mikey fidgeted, but nodded.

"Ok, just relax, Raph. You'll feel a slight stinging in your arm. Shouldn't be too bad," I said as I swabbed an alcohol-soaked cotton ball over Raph's arm to clean the area where I'd insert the needle. I found a worthy blood vessel and began the procedure.

Sure, I saved Leo that night. But he was still unconscious afterward. I felt so guilty; if I had noticed the thug behind me, this would've never happened. Raph and Mikey helped me to carry him to his room. He was so pale, even after the transfusion; his shallow breathing was the only sign he was still alive, as he lie motionless in his bed.

"This is my fault…" I muttered sadly, looking at Leo.

"Don't blame yerself for this, Donnie, " Raph said, placing a reassuring hand on my shell.

"But it is my fault, Raph! I was… distracted, and-"

"You weren't distracted. If I remember correctly, ya were kickin' those punks' butts all on yer own. If anyone's ta blame, it's us for not havin' yer back!" Raph said.

"Yeah! Leo was only protecting you like he always does. What if he didn't spot that Purple Dragon behind you, huh?" Mikey said. Raph nodded.

"Ya could be dead, Don! And trust me, if you die the whole place is gonna fall apart" Raph added.

"Don't be so extreme, Raph!" Mikey exclaimed.

"But it's true! Ya know it is!" Raph replied.

"Guys, quiet! Leo needs rest and silence. So, please… leave the room. I'll call you when he wakes up," I said. Raph and Mikey left the room, giving each other apologetic looks and throwing me sympathetic ones. I needed to be alone with Leo.

* * *

"You think Donnie will be ok?" Mikey asked, leaning against the closed door.

"Don't worry about da genius. He'll be fine. Who worries me da most is Leo" Raph said.

"Yeah, that wound was deep and did you see the blood? Man!" Mikey said remembering the image of Leo bleeding. "It was like one of those cheesy horror flicks!"

"I thought he was already dead in that alley," Raph muttered, causing Mikey to wince a little. Raph noticed the scared face of his mate and pulled him into a hug.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya" Raph said softly.

"It's ok. You're here so… why should I be scared?" Mikey grinned, tightening the hug and melting in Raph's arms.

"That was corny" Raph chuckled.

"And you love me anyway, don't you?" Mikey said, smirking and meeting his mate's gaze.

"Yeah… yer right, knucklehead. Ya know, maybe we should try to get some sleep; it's been a long day…" Raph said kissing and nuzzling Mikey's cheek.

"Ok… so… my room or yours?" Mikey asked, giving Raph a wide Mikey-grin.

"Ya know I have a hammock, right?" Raph asked back.

"I know but it could be interesting sleeping in one. You always did it before… you know…" Mikey smirked and blushed a little.

"It's true. But, ya know that there's not much space in a hammock" Raph reminded him.

"So?" Mikey asked innocently.

"_So_?" Raph asked in surprise.

"I mean, I know what you mean, Raph. We've talked about that and we both agreed no intimacy until Splinter brings us the wedding rings and does the Japanese ceremony thingy he wants to do. I don't see the problem of sharing your hammock, since we made an agreement. I trust you, Raph, and I know you won't break your word. Besides, it'll be like snuggling, and you know I love snuggling!" Mikey said happily, nuzzling Raph's neck.

"Ok, ok. My room, then," Raph said, smirking.

* * *

Leo didn't look to be improving. Maybe he needed another transfusion! But Raph was tired and had gone to bed already. And he was the only one with Leo's blood type, so… I would just have to wait until Leo woke up. I sighed, settling in the chair next to Leo's bed.

I didn't sleep that night. And not just because of the 5 coffee cups I drank. I needed to see Leo awake and out of danger before my mind would let me even think of sleep.

I sat beside him and took his hand. It was cold.

When I'd started stroking his face, I don't remember. But what was weirder was that I was doing it at all!

I stopped suddenly, feeling kind of confused. Why did I do that? Without even noticing, might I add! Sure, Leo did it as a way to soothe us when we had nightmares. But that was just an older-brother thing. Nothing else. Yet somehow, it wasn't the same just now. It felt… kinda nice to I touch his face so tenderly.

Tenderly? Ok, now _that_ sounded weird! What the shell was I _saying?_ Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me because Raph and Mikey had opened up about their relationship. Now my actions feigned affection!

I decided to leave the room to go for more coffee, but a voice stopped me.

"No… don't hurt… D-Donnie…" Leo mumbled, frowning.

Leo talking in his sleep? Now, _that's_ new. Maybe he was remembering the incident. I stayed by his side, watching him sleep. At my presence, his worry-lines ceased.

"Hmmm… he looks so calm when he sleeps. No frowns, no worries … he looks so peaceful, so tender… and cute…" Don said mentally.

"Wait a sec! Did I say…? No, I didn't… did I?" Don himself in shock and disbelief.

Ok, calm down, Donatello… something's definitely not right with me! There must be a logical explanation!

_At least, that's what I thought back then._

This was Leonardo! The Fearless Leader! _Almost_ head of the family! There was no WAY that he could look cute to me, so… why couldn't I stop thinking that?

I got up, feeling the overbearing need to clear my head, but when I tried to walk away, a grip on my hand stopped me. Leo had latched onto my hand, and it seemed that he wasn't going to let me go anytime soon. I tried to free my hand, but of course I failed. Like I'd be able to pry off Leo's ninja grip. I almost laughed at the predicament.

"Seems like Leo is still strong, even in his half-dead and unconscious state," I thought.

"Don't… go… please," Leo said groggily, opening his eyes slowly.

"Leo? Thanks Heaven, you're awake!" I said happily, clapping my free hand on his shoulder.

"You ok, Donnie?" Leo asked in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine bro. Thanks for watching my back" I said, giving him a genuine smile.

"It's ok. Could you come closer please?" I leaned in, smile faltering until Leo pulled me into a hug.

"I thought I wasn't gonna make it in time to save you," Leo said, almost whispering.

"But you did, Leo. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings, " I responded sadly, guilt spreading over my features.

"Don't be sorry, Donnie" Leo calmed me, patting my head. I smiled.

"You were talking in your sleep… were you having a nightmare?" I asked upon breaking the hug.

"Yeah, a bad one. We were at the jewelry store again, and the scenario was the same, but this time… I couldn't save you," Leo admitted sadly.

"It's ok, Leo. I'm here," I reminded him in as soothing of a voice I could muster.

"Could you sleep here? Just for tonight?" Leo asked in an almost pleading way. My heart melted at the hope in his eyes. Wait, what?

"Alright. Besides, I'll need to run anther check-up first thing in the morning anyhow. Might as well save myself the trip. Wake me up if you need anything. Night Leo" Don said as he lied down beside his brother, who shifted as much as his injuries would allow. Donnie blanketed them both.

"Night Donnie. Love ya, bro" Leo said before falling asleep immediately.

I don't know why, but when he said that… my stomach started to act weird. Like it was doing flip-flops.

"Flip-flops? What the shell?" I thought, alarmed. I had no clue where these strange thoughts were coming from.

I thought I was going crazy. First, I touched Leo's face like it made of porcelain or something. Then, I had actually SAID that my brother, Leonardo, was 'cute and tender.' And now my stomach was doing _flip-flops_?

"What's happening to me?" Don muttered, unable to sleep at all the whole night with that question haunting his mind.

* * *

The end! Joking. We're just getting started! Please read/review! Let us know what you think!


	3. Chapter 2

And without further ado, I give you Chapter 2! Enjoy, folks! Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me. Check out her page if you have time! She has tons of awesome tmnt fanfics!

WaRnInG: Turtlecest! DonxLeo!

Disclaimer! We do NOT possess ownership of anything teenage mutant ninja turtles. This is just for fun.

* * *

"Mmm…" I stretched my arms, surprised to find something in their path. I groggily opened an eye halfway to see Leo's sleeping form on the bed next to me. Wait, what? Why am I in Leo's room, in Leo's bed? Oh, wait. That's right. Silly me.

I shifted, looked at the clock (7:48 am), and then carefully got out of bed. Whether it was my stealth or Leo's sickened state that allowed me to climb out without him waking, I know not. But it was probably the latter. Our leader could hear a butterfly's wings flap when he was well.

After three failed attempts to rub the sleep out of my eyes, I stumbled over to Leo's desk and picked up my clipboard. Ok, heart rate?

I carefully lifted Leo's arm and to check his pulse. Leo's toned arm. I was always in awe up this close. Leo trained more than the rest of us, and made sure he covered both agility _and _strength. Thus, he was always in perfect body-builder shape. For a turtle, of course. I found myself continuing to stare whilst I concluded that Leo's heart rate had improved.

Erm, fever? I put my hand on Leo's forehead, reveling in the peaceful state it was near impossible to see Leo in. Before I knew it, I was stroking him. Again! I pulled my hand back abruptly, opting to stick a thermometer in Leo's mouth instead. What was wrong with me? Why did I keep doing this? All because Leo's cute doesn- Oh, God. Not again.

In haste to finish up, I quickly checked to see that Leo's wounds were uninfected and scabbing before scribbling on my clipboard and deciding it would be a nice time to get some work done in my lab. The lab FAR away, on the other side of the lair. Maybe with some research, I could find out what the shell was wrong with me.

* * *

Raph's eyes flew open as his alarm went off. He threw it across the room. Who the shell set it for eight in the morning? He was supposed to get to sleep in today! Probably Leo, not wanting him to sleep in till noon again. He rolled his eyes, looking down at the treasure sleeping soundly on his chest. With Mikey, there were never rules and restrictions. He reached over to caress Mikey's cheek. _His_ Mikey.

"Raph?" Mikey stirred, adjusting so that he'd be even _closer_ to Raph. Raph's eyes widened.

"N-no, Mikey! Yer puttin' too much weight on this si-" the hammock twisted and flipped, as only Raph's hammock would, depositing both turtles on the floor in a crumpled mess.

Raph opened his eyes to find he'd fallen on Mikey, and now their beaks were almost painfully pushed together. Mikey's surprised expression changed into a smile as he and Raph softly kissed.

"_That_ woke me up," laughed Mikey. The fall or the kiss? "Two words, Raph: morning. Breath."

Rather than hit Mikey, because they actually _had_, in fact talked about it, Raph settled for kissing Mikey even deeper. Mikey gagged, laughing at the same time.

"C'mon, let's get up."

* * *

"I'm telling you, Leo. You're too weak to get up." I tried explaining _again_ to my fallen sibling that walking just wasn't for the wounded. I put my hand over Leo as a harmless, yet preventative obstacle.

"I'm fine, Donnie. Don't you think I've had worse than this before? Just a scratch. I'm only getting tea," Leo tried reasoning again. I tutted, sighing.

"With normal circumstances, I know you'd be too stubborn to stay in bed when I told you to and you'd get up despite the wound. So I wouldn't stop you. But Leo, you lost a lot of blood last night. A _lot_. Now, Raph gave you enough to manage, but until your body regenerates enough to compensate, you aren't leaving this bed._ I'll_ get the tea."

I ran off, before he could say anything else, to fetch the kettle I'd anticipatorily boiled earlier and filled Leo a cup of the stuff. Too bitter, in my taste. I'd never understand how Leo could stand it without anything mixed in.

"Thanks, Donnie." Leo smiled at me as I came in. I felt dazed for a second, but decided it was from running.

I was handing the hot drink carefully to Leo when his fingers brushed over mine. Gah! What was that? I unknowingly dropped the tea and it spilled onto the floor. But rather than chide me for my foolish mistake, his concerned brown eyes met mine.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine. Completely fine!" I stuttered. Once of the worst lies I'd ever told. He knew something was up, and he knew that I knew that he knew. I backed away from the tea mess on the ground, blushing severely. "S-s-sorry," I stammered. He looked hurt that I wouldn't make eye contact for more than a second at a time.

"It's fine. Is there something on your mind? We can talk about it. Maybe I can help…" How could Leo NOT see me blush like this? Not that I'm complaining.

"I'm fine." I said in so small of a voice, I was practically whispering. "Don't have anything worth talking about." Before Leo could say anything else, I picked up the fallen cup, thankful it hadn't broken, and left him feeling confused and anxious. I could actually _feel_ my flushed face. I'd have to get rid of that before I came back to Leo's room. How embarrassing!

* * *

So? Please read and review! Make us happy! ^ ^


	4. Chapter 3

Tada! This one's longer than the last one! And I was mostly awake when I wrote it! Enjoy! ;)

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me, who has some _beast_ stories (get it? who?).

Warning! T-cest! D/L and M/R

Disclaimer! We disclaim!

* * *

I hummed happily as I completed another puzzle in my sudoku book. I checked the timer. Forty-three seconds. I could _so_ beat that.

I froze at a shuffling sound. The reason I wasn't working in my lab right now was because Leo had requested I stay in here. Raph and Mikey have enough to think about, and Leo didn't feel right asking one or both of them to keep him company. Speaking of Leo…

"Leo!" I groaned, as I shot out of my chair. He was trying to get up!

"It's ok, Don. I've been resting all day. I think I have enough stamina to make a quick trip to the bathroom." I slapped my forehead. Was he for real?

"Leo, don't you understand? You aren't physically capable of making that trip! Putting that kind of strain on your body will only-" Leo forced himself into a standing position, breathing heavily and knees shaking. "Leo! Sit down before-"

Leo's legs buckled and gave out beneath him, and he fell forward. Fortunately I was able to catch him.

"W-woah! Sorry Don. Guess you were right. My body hates me," Leo smiled. I tensed. His face was so close! I gulped, feeling sweat on my forehead and my hands getting clammy. My face was heating up again. Shell, shell. Not good! In my blurred vision, I saw Leo's lips moving. What was he saying? Shell! I can't concentrate when I'm touching him like this! Sitting him back down on the bed, I mumbled an excuse, and ran out of his room as fast as I could!

* * *

I leaned against his closed door, panting. What in the world? My legs wobbled dangerously. Was I sick or something?

"Woah, dude. What's wrong?" I noticed Mikey just a few feet away, his face laced with concern.

"Nothing. I'm fine-"

"And why's your face all red?"

"I just-"

"And what were you doing in Leo's room?"

"He wante-"

"And why are you all SWEATY?"

"Look, I'm _fine,_ Mikey. Drop it. Please." I prayed he would. God, I was embarrassed. I mean, what _was_ that? I leaned my head back against the door.

"You don't seem fine…" Mikey mumbled. Then he smiled as Raph came toward him.

"There ya are, Mikey. Were you hiding from me?" Raph grinned, lifting Mikey and spinning with him before planting a loving kiss on his mouth. I couldn't keep myself from watching the exchange. I knew they had opened up about their relationship, but come on! Right in front of me?

"You found me!" Mikey giggled. Raph wove their fingers together.

"Mhmm. I was thinking about when we get hitched. And Splinter's ceremony and all that." Raph lifted Mikey's hand to his mouth. I tried to look away. Not happening.

"I know! Dude, I'm so excited! I'm SO going to throw confetti everywhere!" Mikey's eyes sparkled. It was like they didn't even notice me! Or just didn't care…

"Yeah, just don't get any on me. Who should we invite, huh? April and Case are no-brainers. Maybe croc-head. An' Angel," Raph suggested, caressing Mikey's cheek like I'd done to Leo earlier. Not that anyone knew that, of course. Leo… I thought of Leo holding my hand and petting my cheek like that. Why? I don't know, but now I couldn't stop. _Just_ great.

"Ooh! And maybe that weird time-traveling girl! And the Justice Force! Silver Century!" Mikey said happily. They were full on ignoring me! At Mikey's delighted face, Raph leaned in.

"Can't wait…" he started to kiss Mikey gently but passionately. I choked. What if Leo and I… I wet my lips, imagining Leo gently touching me and moving his mouth against mine. I let out an inaudible sound. Shell! What was I _thinking_?

"Oh, God." I took off toward the bathroom. I hated to admit it, but my stomach was doing 'flip-flops' again. I could hear Mikey and Raph say, "what they shell?" behind me.

* * *

I locked myself in the bathroom, leaning heavily against the sink and closing my eyes. Well that proved it. I was attracted to my brother. The evidence had been overbearing up to this point, but I suppose I had been too stubborn to accept it. Nevertheless, was this attraction simply physical?

That didn't matter. It had to stop. I turned toward the mirror.

"Donatello. You're thinking of kissing your brother. Your _own_ brother! That's wrong and immoral," he thrust a finger at his reflection. _Mikey and Raph are together. Is that wrong and immoral? They're brothers too, you know._ Don shook away the voice inside, meeting his reflection's eyes again.

"Relationships are nothing but a distraction. And you've done nothing but proven that. You haven't done anything productive since Leo injured himself protecting you!" _You didn't seem to mind the 'distraction' so much earlier. You didn't have to spend the day with Leo. Or the night…_

"Y-yes I did! He was my patient! It was necessary! I-I… who am I kidding? I _didn't_ have to do any of that. But I wanted to be with Leo…" I sighed, putting my hands against the mirror glass and staring into my eyes, resting my forehead gently on the cold surface. What was I going to do?

* * *

Leo reread the page for the third time. He sighed, setting it aside. He wasn't getting anywhere. And he had been looking forward to finishing it. But he couldn't concentrate. He felt lonely, yet he had to stay in his room. Doctor's orders. Speaking of the doctor, it seemed as if Don was avoiding him. He'd only seen glimpses of him since he tried to get up and fell. His stomach rumbled.

Suddenly, Leo heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Leo was surprised at how weak his voice sounded.

"Mikey! I made you dinner! Mmmm! Lasagnaaa…" Mikey's voice was muffled by the thick layer of wood. Leo's stomach growled in delight. Perfect timing!

"Come in, Mikey," Leo laughed. Leo's face fell when he remembered Donny wouldn't be eating with him. He'd be eating alone.

"Bon appétit!" Mikey kissed his finger, setting the warm plate on Leo's lap. He turned to leave.

"Um, Mikey? Could you stay in here for a while?"

"Yeah, sure! Dude, I thought Don was keeping you company. Did he leave you alone all this time?" Mikey spun, settling on the edge of Leo's bed instead of the stool and bouncing slightly.

"Mmm. Something like that. Said he had some 'extremely important and boring geeky stuff' to do on his computer that he couldn't tell me about." Mikey cracked up.

"Wow. Don's SUCH a bad liar!" Leo laughed too.

"Yeah. He couldn't even look at me when he said it. But it makes me wonder why he _would_ lie. You think I did something?" Mikey frowned at Leo. He felt sorry for his brother. What the shell, Don? You made Leo sad!

"He's probably just constipated or something and embarrassed about it. You're over-thinking it, dude." Mikey joked, managing to pull a smile from his downhearted brother.

"Thanks for that, Mikey. So what's on _your_ mind?" Leo said in between bites. Mikey took a deep breath.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA MARRY RAPH!" Leo clamped his hands over his ears.

"Ok, ok! Calm down! WAY too loud."

"I know, I know, but… I'M SO EXCITED! AND HAPPY! …AND-"

"Shh, ok ok."

"Nervous."

"It's alright to be-"

"I'M SCARED!" Leo winced.

"Hey, _relax_. It'll be fine. Great, actually. It'll be the best day of your life." Leo smiled reassuringly.

"I know that, but…"

"I'm really happy for you two." Mikey's head snapped up.

"Really?" he asked, smiling.

"Yep. More than you know." Mikey laughed.

"Good! Cause you gotta be Raph's best man!" Leo looked up from his Italian.

"WHAT? He wants _me_ to be..? But…"

"But what?" Mikey looked worried.

"Nothing," Leo chuckled. "I'm just shocked, is all. Thought for sure he'd pick Casey. But I'm happy, too. It's a real honor. And, speaking of honor, who's your maid of honor?"

"That's Don, dude." They stared at each other for a second before snorting and clutching their ribs with laughter. Mikey always helped Leo feel more his age. And he'd never know how much it was appreciated.

* * *

I stared at the blank monitor with my cheek resting on my arms, not even sensing Raph enter my lab.

"Knock knock, genius. You're really outta it." He came up behind me.

"Hi, Raph," I said quietly. Raph sighed.

"That was just pathetic." I didn't care. My eyes never left the screen. He sighed again, grabbing the back of my chair and swiveling it around so that I was forced to face him. I tried to look annoyed. "Donnie, you've been actin' weird ever since Leo got hurt. What's the matter with you?"

"…" I looked away from his face. "Nothing, Raph. Really. I think…" I racked my brain for an excuse. Aha! "that the coffee must finally be knocking down my systems. Soon, I'll be nothing more than a vegetable." Now he looked at Raph to see if he bought it.

"Ya know…" What? I might be on to something? You saw it coming? What? "that's the worst lie you've ever told." Face palm. Was it that obvious every time I lied? Whatever. I hate lying anyway. I hated lying to Leo earlier, but what was I _supposed_ to tell him?

"What do you want, Raph?" I spun the chair back around, trying to act busy.

"Don, you an' I both know there ain't nothin' on that screen. Now, I'll listen if ya need to get somethin' off your chest." I groaned, slumping my shoulders in defeat. Fine, whatever. I know from experience that keeping something like this bottled up inside can only result in disaster.

"Raph…" He leaned in, full attention on me. "I think…" I took a deep breath. Here goes. "I'm in love with-"

The lair door opened and Splinter entered.

"I am home, my sons! Come see. I have gotten authentic Japanese engagement rings." Mikey's whoops could be heard as he jumped down from the balcony.

"RAPH! WHERE ARE YOUUU?" Raph smirked.

"Hold that thought, Donnie." Raph ran out to respond to his fiancé's call.

"Leo," I whispered, clutching the back of the office chair to my chest.

* * *

Aww, poor Don. And Leo! I'm a jerk. Anyway, let us know what you thought! The suspense is growing! ^ ^ Hopefully...


	5. Chapter 4

Dun dun dunnnnn! Here it is! I bet you're thinking, why did it take so long? Cause it's a shell of a chapter! That's why! But don't worry! Who and I were working diligently on it this whole time! So I hope you guys like it! It gets pretty intense. :O

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning! Turtlecest! DonxLeo

Disclaimer! We don't own the turtles, as stupefyingly fantastical as that would be.

* * *

Four months of pure torture.

That's the only adequate way to describe the period during which Raph and Mikey made the arrangements for their wedding. They looked so happy… Everybody did! Well, all but one… yeah, that's me.

Remember when I almost confessed to Raph?

Well, after Master Splinter came home with his fancy oriental wedding rings, he totally spaced! '_Hold that thought, Donny_,' my shell!

I wanted so badly to tell him what I was feeling at that moment. Maybe he and Mikey had felt the same way when _they_ discovered their love for each other.

Hmmm… In retrospect, perhaps it would've been a ask Mikey, but I was so afraid that he'd tell Leo. Then Leo would despise me, or hate me, or… well, you get the idea.

The first month, they sent the invitations to all our friends. These included April and Casey (of _course_), Angel, the Justice Force, Leatherhead, and Professor Honeycut, who we deemed worthy enough to be the rabbi.

Second month, April picked out and bought the kimonos they're going wear on that day (well, Raph wants to wear his tux); it was supposed be a Japanese ceremony so… I think the kimono thing was probably Sensei's idea. Or maybe Leo's. Oh Leo, and his obsession for Japanese culture…

God, I'm thinking about him _again_? No way! I still didn't like accepting the idea of me having a crush on Leo… I probably just felt guilty for the incident with the Purple Dragons.

…

Ok, ok… lame excuse, I know.

I don't remember what was accomplished during the third month of misery, but Raph and Mikey were getting as nervous as they were anxious and excited for the wedding day.

And all throughout those three months, I kept avoiding Leo: in training, breakfast, lunch and dinner. I stayed on my lab almost the whole day, and didn't come out if I could help it.

I knew I was hurting him, I could actually _feel_ his worried gaze on me. His sad, confused gaze. His lovely gaze… shell, not AGAIN!

I simply _had_ to stop thinking about Leo in that way! That insane and perverted way. I need to make myself focus on something else. Anything else! But what?

* * *

"Hmmm… maybe my trusty computer could help me with that. Time for research!" I muttered to myself as I opened up a search engine and started vigorously typing. My eyes widened at what I came across.

Hmmm… _pain_ as a way to focus? Could work. I can see the mindset behind it. Maybe that would be my solution.

Yeah, I know: sounds crazy. But I had to get rid of those feelings and if this would help me do so, then by all means, I would try it! Who cares about the pain? It _can't_ be any worse than the agony I was already experiencing.

The lair was completely empty (or so I thought at the time), so I went to the kitchen and turned on the stove. (1)

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before placing both hands on the hot stove. I tried to muffle my cries of pain, even though I didn't think anyone was still in the lair.

But then I heard those familiar footsteps… Ah, shell.

"Donnie?"

Oh great! The _one_ turtle I needed to see! Why now? I scrambled to hide what I had been doing.

By the time Leo came into the kitchen, the stove was off and I was slumped on the floor in pain. Definitely _not_ one of my better ideas. Leo rushed and kneeled next to me in a worried panic. Much as I tried, I couldn't stop whimpering and crying softly… how _embarrassing_. How does Raph just block this pain out?

"DONNIE! WHAT THE SHELL?" Leo yelled in shock.

"L-Leo… I… I'm…" I made the mistake of talking, and found I was unable to hold back anymore. Now I was crying like a baby! Good move, Donatello!

"Let me see your hands!" I refused, shaking my head and shoving them further into my armpits.

"Donatello, your _hands_… NOW!" Leo used his big brother tone, hoping to scare me into obeying him.

I still blatantly refused to show my burned hands. I didn't want him to see them… shell, _I_ was afraid to look at them! But Leo, being Leo, stubbornly tried to pry my arms from my body, and we struggled a little before he managed to take both of my hands and stare at them in horror. I had first-degree burns on both. No big deal, but still painful. Burns were different from cuts and bruises, and I didn't think I wanted to feel them again if I could help it.

I looked up at him nervously, through my blurred vision. Please don't yell at me.

"C'mon, I'll take care of this" Leo said as he held out his hand to help me up, but then rethought it and pulled me up by my upper arms. I let him, unsure what exactly I could do at this point.

* * *

Once in my lab, Leo started to clean the burns. I swear I'd _never_ felt so much pain in my life! Why did these blisters hurt my hands so much? This searing pain was foreign to me. There was a strange pressure that made moving them unbearable, unlike the sharp ignorable pain I was used to from fighting. But you know what? Even though this was probably one of the… ok, _the _most stupid thing I'd ever done… it was successful! I _wasn't_ thinking of Leo, even though it was _him_ nursing me! At least my little experiment worked! To think that the method the internet gave me ended up being-

…

Wrong.

Are you serious? I thought this was going to work! I'd put so much hope into this, but I was way wrong. Once he started bandaging my hands, my newfound concentration was lost, and my stomach began to act up again. Those strong hands, ready to kill at any given time, were now as delicate as silk while he wrapped my damaged tissue. The feeling of his fingers brushing over mine as he did so made me think back to Raph and Mikey, when they laced their fingers together so romantically and lovingly. How great it'd be to experience something like that myself.

"Donnie, what happened?" Leo asked in concern. He knew that I had hurt myself on purpose. I could tell. But his eyes told me he wanted so much to believe something different.

Stupid me! What was I _thinking_? Wait, had I even _been_ thinking? No, I suppose not. My mind was so clouded and confused, that it had impaired my judgment and common sense! And to think my 'outlet', the thing that was supposed to fix everything had just made things worse. Now I'd cornered myself, and given Leo a reason to talk to me again. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Don, talk to me. Please!"

Oh Leo, please don't beg me! This is not your fault! His brown eyes were filled with a sort of sadness. And it seemed like everything I did served only to make me guiltier inside. I was a horrible person. I'm so sorry, Leo.

"Don!" Leo insisted making me jump back into reality where I found myself face to face with the one where everything started.

"What?" I asked quietly, fixing my gaze and stowing away my distraught emotions for analyzing later.

"Donnie, something's wrong with you. You're not the same anymore. You're- you're locking yourself in your lab, you're quieter than you used to be, I don't think I've seen you smile in _months_, you treat my like a stranger, and now _this_?" Leo questioned, raw emotion in his voice as he lifted my hands into view so that I was forced to look at them. Physical representation of my weakness. My failure.

His hands holding mine again… and that feeling! Oh God, not the flip-flops again. I internally groaned, wanting to clutch my stomach but not because my hands were burnt and preoccupied.

"What happened in the kitchen, Don? And I want the truth." He locked his eyes with mine, and I felt like I was the only person in the world. He regarded me with so much importance, and here I was hurting him again and again!

How can I tell you the truth, Leo? How can I tell you that I'm in lov- NO! Wait! Stop it, Donatello! Knock it off! These kinds of thoughts will only be your demise!

"Well?" I gulped before looking away and trying my luck.

"I-I'm sorry Leo. I… got hungry, and I thought I could, you know… make another lasagna."

And the Academy Award for the _Worst Liar Ever _goes to… HAMATO DONATELLO!

"First of all: lasagna is prepared in an oven. I know you're smart enough to know that. Second: there are _leftovers_ in the fridge." Leo said with a disappointed look.

"Oh… I… forgot" I avoided his gaze.

"Don, why are you avoiding me?" Leo asked in an almost pleading tone.

"I'm not-" I started to say before I was cut off.

"Don't lie to me! Not again!" I heard his voice crack, and it broke my heart. " You think I haven't noticed your behavior lately? You _are_ avoiding me; don't even try to deny it! The question… the one thing I can't figure out is… why? What did I do wrong? Did I do something that bugged you without knowing it? Did I say something that upset you? I need to know why we've grown so much apart." Leo ended almost whispering. I didn't know what to say to that. I couldn't tell him the truth. Never. And I couldn't lie to him. I just wasn't capable of it… so I ignored him and looked away, staying silent. I knew without even looking that it would only hurt him more. And I hated myself even more for doing it to him.

"Are you listening to me?" Leo spoke up again in a more serious tone. I kept myself from looking at him, looking at my sins. But I only managed to make Leo get angry. He grabbed my chin and forced me to meet his eyes.

"ANSWER ME!" Leo yelled. I felt anger of my own bubble up as I felt threatened. Good. Better than guilt or whatever else I'd been feeling.

"No!" I yelled back. His eyes narrowed.

"No! No, you aren't LISTENING?" Leo shouted again.

"No!" It was the only word I found myself able to say… or yell, as the case may be.

"No, WHAT?" Leo cried again, gripping me by the shoulders.

"NOO!" I yelled furiously in my foreign anger, and at feeling the familiar wetness on my cheeks, I aggressively ripped myself from Leo's arms. I grabbed the pillow from the cot next to us and buried my face in it. Better than letting Leo see me like this. I proceeded to mumble incoherent nothings to myself, as my shoulders shook, wracked with affliction.

"You know what? Forget it! You don't want to talk to me? Fine!" Leo snapped. Than he sighed. "You're such a pain sometimes!" Leo rubbed his temples in exasperation. I pulled myself away from my pillow, dropping it back onto the bed abrasively.

"Then why do you even bother with me? Why don't you just go and talk to _Mikey_ instead? _He_ seems to be the favorite around here." I said, surprised at how much I meant those words. What was I doing? I didn't want to fight with Leo like this! This wasn't me!

"Is that what this is about? _Jealousy_? At least Mikey talks to me!" Leo yelled. I scoffed. Me? _Scoff_? What the shell? I pushed past him toward the stairs. "And doesn't burn his own _hands_! Way better than acting like I don't exist!"

"Well great! It's decided! Now you'll be happy, 'cause he's funnier than me, too!" I yelled back.

"And more sincere!" Leo added. I glared at him from where I stood.

"Yep. You'll just _love_ talking to him. Finally, someone ELSE of lower intelligence to CONVERSE WITH!" I screamed with everything I had before slamming the door to my room, my safe haven.

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Leo yelled furiously. Whether to make give himself the last word, or to feel like he had control over the situation, I don't know. I didn't care right now.

"WHERE DO YOU THINK I AM?" Don shouted back, tears streaming down my face. Then… all was quiet. I curled up on the floor, hugging my knees like I'd fall apart otherwise.

* * *

I hurt him, I knew I did. Really bad this time. I didn't mean to, didn't want to, but I couldn't stand being so close to him without… without thinking those dirty thoughts again. And I suppose I threw away all rationality, trying show anything _but_ vulnerability. I suspect that's how Raph used to feel. I threw myself onto my bed, crying fiercely. I hated myself now, so SO much. I would've killed myself, but that would be too drastic; Raph and Mikey's wedding was but a month away, and the last thing they needed to be was mourning on their special day. I didn't want to take that happiness away from them. And I was sure, with a little time and consolation, I'd realize that I didn't want to die either.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Leo" I sobbed against the pillow in my voice hoarse from yelling, draining my tears and eliciting tremors from my spent body. That was enough emotional strain for a lifetime. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…" I whispered endlessly until sleep got the better of me.

* * *

1. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT do this at home, kids! Don was emotional and dumb! It's not ok! Hear us? NOT OK! And don't kill yourselves either! Even if Leo yells at you too!

Please tell us what you thought! Your reviews mean everything! And any advice can help us to make this even more enjoyable an experience! So please, let us know! Oh! And check out Who's page! She writes so often! And she finishes everything she does! Unlike me... (someone yell at me to finish Leo's Prank, please!)


	6. Chapter 5

Here it is! And it's a BIG one! Well worth the wait, if you ask me! Please enjoy our efforts! ^ ^

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning! Turtlecest! LeoxDon

Disclaimer! Own tmnt, we do not.

* * *

The entire fourth month after Leo's accident, things were pretty hostile between us. And to think, we were just a couple of weeks away from the big event! At least my hands were fully healed now.

Everyone we knew noticed our drastic change in behavior; we didn't talk to each other, we didn't stay in the same room together, and we didn't team up on our missions, training, or anything that would involve just the two of us.

It was fine at first. Well, not fine, but bearable. At least this way he would never know about my attraction to him. But somehow, that knowledge didn't make me feel good. He was my brother after all. And whether I was attracted to him or not, I had to apologize for giving him the cold shoulder so that we could be friends again. For Raph and Mikey's sake. They don't deserve this.

And speaking of the wedding, I couldn't believe the little prankster chose _me_ as his maid of honor! I _so_ wanted to clean the floor with his face when he told me that, but… how could I say no to those puppy eyes of his? *Sigh* I hate when he uses the adorable little brother 'puppy eyes' card against me! It always works, and he knows it.

Ok, so now I'm Mikey's maid of honor. 'No big deal,' I thought at the time. But then he told me who was going to be the best man, and I wanted to die the moment he announced the name: Leonardo.

My face went white. Or pale green? Who cares? The point is that Mikey noticed (how couldn't he?), and asked me what was wrong with me, forcing me to lie again. God, I'm turning into Pinocchio's clone!

Anyway, I thought I should try to communicate with Leo at dinnertime since Mikey asked us, no: **pleaded **with us to have dinner together as a family again. What better opportunity?

Oh! That's right. Leo and I have only been having dinner if the other person wasn't in the room. Raph and Mikey got sick of it, so Raph convinced Leo and Mikey convinced me.

I must say, that was the most silent dinner I've ever had in my life. The silence was only broken by the occasional sounds of spoons on porcelain and some random chitchat between Raph and Mikey. Small talk. I could tell they felt awkward too.

Finally, I just couldn't stand it anymore at that table. So I got up.

"May I be excused, please?" I asked as politely as I could manage. But to my surprise, another voice echoed my own! Yep, Leo's voice.

"Dudes, you even hadn't finished your food!" Mikey said, pointing at the half-filled plates with his fork sadly.

"I have some important work to do in my lab, Mikey," I said as nicely as I could. I didn't want him to feel hurt. That was the best apology I could give in this state.

"Yeah, like ignoring me," Leo muttered. Oh great! Here we go again!

"I wasn't talking to you, Leonardo." Shell, I used his full name! Havewe really grown that apart?

"Nor I to you, _Donatello,_" Leo mimicked_. _Great, now he was doing the same!I swear I could _feel_ Raph and Mikey's confused expressions as they stared at us.

"Then why are you talking to me now?" Please, somebody stop my stupid mouth!

"Forget it. Didn't you say you wanted to leave? Then, do it! Go!" Leo said.

"No, _you _leave!" I , wasn't this supposed to be Raph's line? When _he_ and Leo fought?

"No, YOU go!" Leo shouted, getting worked up.

"Uh, guys?" Raph interrupted us. Or, attempted rather. Can't blame a guy for trying!

"Fine! _I'll_ leave then!" I said making my way out of the kitchen. I hadn't gone ten feet before-

"Great! Run away and hide yourself again like a coward!" Ouch! That hurt!

Instead of crying like a baby, I felt the anger blurring my thoughts. The anger that I never used to possess was becoming a regular experience. I was beginning to understand all too well how Raph feels when he gets lectured by our Fearless Leader.

"What did you just called me?" I said angrily, stopping in my tracks. I had a feeling that this argument was going to end badly…. _very_ badly.

"Oh! So NOW you're listening to me?" Leo asked smugly.

"That's it, you two! Leo, c'mon buddy; let's talk about this. Mikey, you go with Don," Raph intervened, grabbing Leo's arm and taking him to the dojo.

"Good luck with the thickhead," Leo said to Mikey sarcastically.

"And good luck to you too, Raph, with that dimwit!" SHUT UP, DONATELLO! I'm such an idiot! Why am I saying these things?

* * *

"What da shell was with that show in the kitchen, huh?" Raph inquired as he paced in front of Leo in the dojo.

"I'm sorry, Raph. I didn't mean to ruin dinner for you and Mikey," Leo said with hints shame dripping from his voice.

"Forget the numbskull! I wanna know what's goin' on with you and Don!" Raph shot, exasperated.

"How can call Mikey things like that, when you're two weeks away from getting married?" Leo asked with a puzzled face. Why would Raph continue to call his mate such offensive terms?

"We're gettin' off-subject, Leo! This month, you two have been actin' like sworn enemies! I thought that was our thing!" Raph reminded him of the days when they used to fight. Of course, Leo had been so preoccupied with Don, and Raph with Mikey (of course), that they'd settled for a peaceful coexistence.

"Heh! Yeah, kinda weird huh?" Leo chuckled. Raph's serious face made him quiet and drop the smile.

"I ain't laughin', Leo. This is bad. Really bad. Donnie and you were like best friends! How da shell does somethin' like that change?" Raph asked in concern, sitting down beside Leo.

"I'm not sure myself, Raph. If I was, I might've been able to fix it by now. All I know is that ever since I got hurt, Don has been avoiding me like the plague and I don't know why. And… well… we had a really bad argument about a month ago, and the kitchen incident was the first time we've talked to each other since then," Leo explained.

"A month ago? What. Da. Shell! Mikey and I should have paid more attention to you guys! We didn't notice until a week or two ago!" Raph exclaimed.

"Don't blame yourselves for that, Raph. I didn't want you two to stress over it. It has noting to do with you. Last thing you need now is worry to stack on top of the anxiety," Leo said sadly.

"Yeah, yeah. The wedding thing. But you've given us more than enough reasons to be worried," Raph said quietly. Then he remembered something. "Oh yeah, another thing: why'd Don have his hands all bandaged?"

"I'm not sure on the details, but I think he burnt himself on purpose. I caught him in the kitchen. He didn't know I was home," Leo sighed, feeling a strange sadness at what he had said.

"O…k… now _that's_ scary. _Don's_ going _emo_ on us?" Raph asked in surprise.

"No idea. When I asked him about it, he totally ignored me. And that was enough to set me off. I exploded and said… well… very stupid things I regret deeply now," Leo said, sighing heavily as he returned from his memories. "When I get angry, I say things I don' mean. I can't help it."

"So that would explain yer bickerin' in da kitchen. Hmm… I wonder if…"

"What?" Leo cut off his train of thought.

"Well, I noticed his change of mood too. A while ago, actually. I remember I was talkin' to him in his lab and he said sumthin'… but I can't remember it now. Anyway, why don't ya try and talk to him again? Yer the one who's good with words, after all."

"I don't think I want to. I guess… if he wants to hate me forever, for no reason, and he's happy with that… then so am I," Leo stated.

* * *

There was no way I'd let Mikey convince me to apologize to Leo! Yeah, even _I_ can be stubborn sometimes. But seriously! Calling_ me _a thickhead? _And_ a coward? Well, I did call him a dimwit, so… I guess I'd have to apologize after all if I wanted a clean conscience.

"Why don't you go and talk to Leo? I'm sure he's sorry and didn't mean what he said!" Mikey said, almost pleading.

"I don't know, Mikey. I mean, I know I need to apologize but… it's been a month, you know? How can I make it up to him after all this time?"

"Well, a sincere '_I'm sorry'_ would be a nice start…" Mikey said.

"Yeah… I guess you're right, Mikey. Ok, _that_ sounded weird!" No, really. That sounded weird!

"What? I can be wise sometimes!" Mikey smirked at my surprised face.

"Is that so? Or maybe a certain _someone _has made a big impact on my little brother's life! What do you think?" I said, teasingly poking Mikey's arm.

"Hey! Knock it off or I'll tell Raphie!" Mikey pouted, but laughed at the same time.

"He lets you call him like that now?" Whoa! Dye my headband pink if I'm wrong, but if my memory serves me right, Raph would kill before letting someone call him that by nickname!

"Well, only when nobody is around. Now, go to the dojo and get our best friend and brother back!" Mikey cried cheerfully. Wow. Mikey could give anyone courage.

"Ok… wish me luck!" I sighed, giving a small smile and making my way to the dojo.

Just when I thought things were finally going to be made right… I heard words that stabbed at my heart and extinguished the little ray of hope I had on it.

"…_If he wants to hate me foreve,r for no reason, and he's happy with that… then so am I."_

* * *

I don't remember what happened next but the thing I knew, I found myself locked in my room, crying and sobbing loudly. Thank God my room was soundproof or Mikey would've heard me and tried to comfort me again. I needed to be alone for now…

Why would Leo say such horrible words? I _don't_ hate him! That's why this whole thing started in the first place! Of course, he doesn't know that. But he's right about one thing: I don't have a reason to treat him this way. I know that. And I'm _definitely_ not happy about it!

I'm not happy, Leo! I hate lying to my family, to my friends, to you... to Leo.

Why do you hate me, Leo? Wait, I know the answer: I made you hate me. It's my fault. I lost you; I lost my friend, my brother… my love.

Aww shell! Not again! Even in my suffering, I can't help but think of Leo in that insane way! Get over it, Donatello! You've lost him forever; nothing's going to make him love you… neither in a brotherly way nor the way you're dying to be loved.

* * *

"How can ya say that? Of course he's not happy, and ya know that too! Knowin' Donnie, he's as sorry as you are and didn't mean to avoid ya or say what he did." Raph said, almost as naturally as a psychologist. Which was really odd.

"Whoa! Someone's been reading lately," Leo teased.

"Nah, it's just…" Raph rubbed the back of his neck, smirking a little.

"Maybe I should thank Mikey for the positive impact he seems to be having on you," Leo chuckled a little.

"Knock it off, Fearless! Quit stallin' and go talk to da genius. Mikey wouldn't like to see his maid of honor all moody on da wedding," Raph said as he got up and helped Leo do the same.

"Alright, alright! I'll do it. Wish me luck… 'cause I'm _so_ gonna need it," Leo said and left the dojo.

"Go and get 'im, tiger!" Raph encouraged him. Then Mikey appeared with a wide smile.

"So… what happened?" Mikey asked in curiosity.

"Don't know yet. Leo's gonna go talk with Brainiac now" Raph said. Mikey's happy face fell and was replaced with a worried face.

"But I sent him here like a few minutes ago!" Raph raised an eye ridge, confusion clear on his face. "Aww shell!" Mikey sighed heavily.

"Don't worry, they'll be ok," Raph said soothingly, pulling his fiancé into a hug.

"I sure hope so. Do you think _we'll_ have arguments like that once we're married?" Mikey asked, petting Raph's cheek half-lovingly, half-just-to-be-annoying.

"I'll make sure we don't. Nevuh in our lives!" Raph said, smirking.

"Promise?" Mikey asked softly.

"Promise." Raph sealed the promise with a kiss.

* * *

The sound of a soft knock on my door woke me from my misery. Only one turtle knocks like that. Shell. What was he doing here?

"Don, I… may I talk to you, please?"

Oh my…! He couldn't see me like this! I didn't want him to think I was weak. But… if I didn't open that door, I would lose my only chance to make things up with him. As long as he still wanted to talk to me, there was still hope. Maybe I hadn't lost him yet!

"Come in," I said with the best voice I could make at the moment, which was still wavering pathetically, much to my dismay. Leo entered; he looked sad and worried.

"Hey," Leo said smiling a little.

"Hey." I gave him a sad smile.

"Donnie I… listen, I… well, the thing is-" Leo stuttered nervously.

"Leo, please. You don't have to apologize. I do. I'm sorry for being a jerk lately, for ignoring you… and hurting you… and calling you a dimwit… and- and-" I apologized, getting interrupted by Leo.

"Ok, ok. I get it already! I'm sorry too. I should've been more tolerant with you. I guess we both were being thickheads, huh?" Leo teased his me.

"Yeah, sort of," I chuckled a little.

"So… you ok now?" Leo asked again, just to confirm the return to normalcy.

"Yeah, how about you?"

"Same. Now, do you want to talk about what's been happening lately?" Leo asked in a friendly ton, sitting beside me on the bed.

"Leo, I… seriously, I don't think…" I mumbled nervously, avoiding his Leo's gaze again.

"If you don't want to, I won't pressure you, ok? Hey, why don't we forget everything that went on these past few months and start all over again, hmm?" Leo asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, great!" I smiled back. Phew! What a relief!

"So… I heard Mikey got you to be his maid of honor?" Leo inquired, chuckling.

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me," I said dryly. "I thought it was only a bad dream… a _really_ bad one," Don sighed heavily.

"Heh heh! Well, that's the _cruel _truth, little bro… Ouch! Not again!" Leo winced a little and rubbed the back of his neck.

"What?" I asked in concern.

"My neck's… kinda stiff…" I immediately got up and examined Leo's neck, gently probing and finding the area very tense.

"_Kinda_? Leo, it's totally stiff! Wait a sec; I'll go get the ointment," I said, making my way to the bathroom before he could respond, and returning a matter of seconds later.

"Ok, now relax. You'll feel a little pain and slight coldness, ok?" I warned Leo, gently applying pressure on his neck.

"OUCH! You were right about the pain!" Leo noted at feeling the cold substance spread over his flesh.

"What the shell did you _do_ to hurt your neck like this?" I asked in surprise and concern. Had he been sleeping on his face for a few weeks?

"Training… I guess I overworked myself… again," Leo sighed. This was old news.

"Mhmm, I could have told you that," I muttered as I proceeded with his treatment. Leo started to feel sleepy, yet relaxed under my touch.

"A little to the right, please. Yeah, right there… you know, your massages might just be the new heroin, " Leo teased.

"Is that a compliment?" I chuckled.

"Yeah… maybe… well, it's kinda hard to think right now. Shell, you're good at this!" Leo exclaimed, feeling much more relaxed and melting under my fingers. "You'll need to do this for me more often!"

"Y-yeah… I… I guess. Well, uh…" I stuttered nervously. God! What now? My face is burning and I can't feel my legs! Shell! Ok, relax Donatello. This is only a harmless treatment for your brother's stiff neck! There's nothing strange about… touching… his… n-neck like… t-this. Whoa, why am I feeling so d-dizzy? Where'd Leo go? Aww, shell- I think I'm gonna-!

That was the last thing I remember before my world went black.

* * *

Leo was starting to fall asleep in the relaxing massage when he suddenly stopped feeling the touch of the expert hands on his neck.

"We're done?" Leo asked Don.

…

No answer.

…

"Donnie?" Leo asked again, turning back to see an unconscious Donatello lying on the bed behind him. Raph and Mikey were strategically passing by when they noticed the scene.

"What the…?" Raph asked with a puzzled face.

"Whoa! What happened to him?" Mikey asked too.

"N-No idea!" was the only thing Leo could say, truly dumbfounded. He rubbed the back of his neck again. The stiffness was gone! "Hmm… at least my neck feels better now,,,"

"Huh?" Raph and Mikey asked in confusion.

"Never mind, can you guys help me put the genius in bed properly?"

Once Don was situated with his head on the pillow and the blankets covering his body, the guys left the room… all but one.

"Thanks, Donnie. Love you, bro," Leo said before placing a soft kiss on his brother's forehead.

* * *

Whoa! What was that? Did Leo just ki…? Aww shell, Don! Don't get your hopes up too much_! _He always does that when we go to sleep… well ok, not always… but it's just a big brother thing! Don't turn it into something it's not!

Ok, so… I've gotten my brother and friend back and we were a happy family again. Perfect, right?

But… _I_ still wasn't happy yet. And I wouldn't be until I let out all of my bottled feelings… which was definitely _not_ going to happen! He's my brother, darn it!

So why can't I stop thinking of him as something potentially more?

Ok, I need to stop lying to myself. I love him. Yes, I'll admit it: I love Leonardo.

Now, how to let him know that?

* * *

Ta da! *takes a bow* Now I know YOU know this was awesome, and now you know I know, so let us know how awesome it was, or we'll KNOW.


	7. Chapter 6

And here it is! A decent-sized update for our readers! Enjoy! ;)

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me (you should really check out Who's page!)

Warning! Turtlecest! DonxLeo! and MikeyxRaph!

Disclaimer: We do NOT own the turtles. In another lifetime, maybe...

* * *

The wedding. Oh, the wedding. We went up to Casey's farmhouse to hold it, because Mikey wanted to have it in the sunlight. Apparently, my new LED florescent lights aren't good enough. But that's ok. It's been while since we were up here.

Leo and I are on _much_ better terms, if you're wondering. Things have almost gone back to normal! Except I'm still in love with him... and I still can't be within a four-foot radius without getting flustered and stuttering nervously. Very _inconspicuous_, Donatello. But if he hasn't figured it out by now, maybe he never will... Whatever. I'm getting off topic.

The wedding itself was great! I don't know if you could call it traditional, though. In fact, it'd _have_ to be it's own category. I mean, scratch the traditional bride and groom. _We were brought here today to celebrate the marriage between… two male mutant ninja turtles…_

Actually, we had Professor Honeycut be the rabbi. He's more than qualified, in my opinion.

Of course, Mikey and Raph wanted it to be a very modern wedding. And I quote, "nona that old people classic weddin' stuff like on those movies Mike watches." But Splinter still wanted Japanese aesthetics and customs to be included. So Mikey wore a kimono, and Splinter got to say something in Japanese before they were made official. I could tell no one knew what he was saying. Except for Leo anyway. Leo was nodding, mouthing the words quietly as Sensei read. It was rather distracting for me.

Mikey didn't even seem to notice what was happening around him. Honestly, I don't think I've EVER seen him that happy. And let me tell you, that's saying something. It was actually kind of scary. I thought so, at least. And leave it to Raph to be impatient _on his WEDDING_. If he wasn't rolling his eyes at the Professor for stumbling over a few words, he was tapping his foot impatiently or silently but noticeably sighing. Gosh, if it were _my_ wedding… uh oh. Bad topic! Undergo subject change!

So… the main ceremony part just ended. Raph and Mikey kissed, everyone 'awwed', and now we're in the reception. Leo's trying to make light conversation with me… shell, it's so much harder to act 'normal' than it used to be!

"Wow, there're so many people here," Leo noted, his gaze sweeping around the large room. "Who knew we had so many friends?" He laughed, shrinking away from all the noise. Leo never was comfortable in crowds. A trait that we shared, actually. Whereas Mikey and Raph could party all night, Leo and I prefer to sit and talk in the corner, much like we were doing now.

"I blame Mikey," I chuckled. Mikey was always making new friends. He invited at least _half_ the people here… including the Justice Force! Leo shifted on the bench next to me. I felt my face heating up. Oh no! Not now! I looked away… too late.

"Don, you ok? Your face is all flushed…" Leo noted, turning my head toward his with his fingers. Now it was probably ten times worse! Shellshellshellshell…

"I-I'm ok… it's just kind of hot in here… with all the people and… wedding…" Mental face-palm. Leo opened his mouth to respond when a blinding flash filled the room, and we heard shocked exclamations, instinctively jumping to our feet and running toward them. Really? At a wedding? I reached for my bo-staff.

"Whoooops!" That voice… I relaxed. Renet… There she was, rubbing the thigh she had landed on, seemingly unaware of the crowd she'd drawn. "I can never get that right…" She stood up straight after dusting herself off, paying no mind to the confused looks and whispers focused on her, and scanned the crowd for familiar faces. Her eyes brightened when she spotted Leo and me.

"Don! Leo! HEY!" She ran over, draping her arms around us in a hug. It must have looked pretty awkward. She's so much taller than us.

"H-hi, Renet," I managed. Leo gave a small wave too. She grinned.

"Aww, you're so cute!" She pinched my cheek, must to my distaste. Leo swatted her hand away. She looked at the two of us, and then winked at me.

"Congrats!" I stared blankly. What? This was Mikey's and Raph's wedding! Not mine. What could she possibly be congratulating me about? If this is sarcasm about being the maid of honor, I swear I'll-

Renet elbowed me, winking again. Then she gave a pointed look at Leo, who was distracted, silently supervising Raph and Casey, who had managed to find a flamethrower and were using it to 'entertain' the guests. "Duh, you know…" My eyes widened in realization. "You and mpphh!" I covered her mouth, drawing some puzzled looks from people nearby. I looked over to Leo. Good, he hadn't noticed.

"MMM!" Renet tried to pull my arm off of her. Of course, I was much stronger than her. I had a lifetime of ninja training to thank for that. I wrapped my other arm around her waste, lifting her up and pulling her outside with her arms flailing, smiling and muttering polite 'excuse me's' to everyone we had shuffle past.

We were just out the door and around the side when Renet licked my hand and I pulled back in disgust. She whacked me on the head with her scepter, crossing her arms.

"What the heck, Donnie? What gives?" I gave her a very serious face. The one I reserved for treating extreme injuries and poker.

"He doesn't know." She stared at me with a perplexed look.

"What?"

"Leo doesn't know yet," I repeated. Her eyes widened.

"WHAT! You haven't TOLD HIM?" I took a step back.

"Uh, no? Are you crazy? And get rejected? No way!" I crossed my own arms. "I… can't let him know. Not now, not ever."

"_You're_ the _crazy_ one! You HAVE to tell him! You can't just not, like, come out with your feelings!" That angered me. What did _she_ know?

"Says who?" She rolled her eyes at me, lifting up her scepter and putting a hand on her hip.

"Fate?" She had a point.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but fate… destiny… isn't it always changing? The future's never set and stone, Renet. Any choice I make could affect the time stream. _Would_ affect the time stream," I said analytically. She sighed.

"Just trust me, Don. Please? You don't understand." I quirked an eye ridge in disbelief. There was very little I didn't understand.

"What are you talking about?" She looked around before lowering her voice some.

"Something will happen- something _really_ bad… if you don't tell him soon." Renet stared at me for a moment more before turning and walking back into the farmhouse.

What did she mean? Something… bad? I gulped, filing the moment away for later contemplation, and then rejoining everyone else.

* * *

*gasp* What on Earth could Renet be talking about? What's going ON? Well, I guess there's only one way to find out! Review and stay tuned! ;) Reviews are much-appreciated.


	8. Chapter 7

And here it is! Sorry for the delay! I've been steadily working on it around my homework, but at last it is finished! Enjoy, my readers! ^ ^

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning! T-cest! DonxLeo RaphxMike

Disclaimer! We do NOT own turtles!

Note- This chapter is about Raph and Mike's first night together. I kept it NOT-explicit, but just a fair warning to anyone who might want to skip it anyway. This is the first time we're featuring Raph and Mikey pov's as well, so let me know how you think that went! Thanks!

* * *

That weddin' took too long. But it's ok 'cause Mikey was really happy 'bout it. And now we're married. That makes 'im my husband. _That's_ weird. Gonna hafta get used to that. Bet Case'll tease me. I'll punch him if he does. Bonehead.

But nona that mattered now. The weddin', the ceremony, the _day_ had ended. It was night now, and it was gonna be our first night together. As spouses. April 'n Casey fixed up the master bedroom. It was actually half decent. Before April girled it up.

I threw my tux jacket over a chair, loosening my tie. I decided I hated ties. Felt like I was being choked all day.

Mikey loosened his sash. I walked over to help him with his kimono when I noticed his shoulders shaking. I felt a pang of sadness. He wasn't supposed to be _scared_. Shell.

"Hey Mikey. You ok? Remember, ya don't gotta do anythin' ya don't wanna." And I meant that. Even if it meant I would suffer because of it.

Mikey turned to me, a smile on his face. His shoulders stopped trembling.

"I'm great, Raphie! Don't worry about it. It's just… cold… in here… you know how the weather was today! Clear blue sky and warm my shell!" Mikey laughed. It wasn't that cold in here… but whatever. Maybe Mike's just sensitive.

I pulled his kimono the rest of the way off, draping it on the chair next to my clothes. I picked him up, carrying him to the bed and climbing over him. I ran my hand down his cheek. My Mikey… He started shaking again.

"Mikey, I'm feelin' yer cheek. Ya ain't cold. What's wrong?" _He doesn't want to do this_, said a voice in my head.

"Maybe I ate too much cake!" Mikey smiled. I sighed, shaking my head.

"That lie sucked. Look, Mikey. I know we agreed to do it tonight, but I ain't gonna pressure ya into anythin'. I just want ya to feel good, because I love ya. But if-" I stopped. Mostly because Mike put his lips over mine.

"I love you too, Raphie. And trust me when I say this: I'm ready. Nervous, but ready," Mikey said, kissing me again and wrapping his arms around my neck. I broke it.

"Alright. We'll do this, but if it hurts ya, ya tell me to stop and we stop immediately. Ya got that?" I said, forcing him to look into my eyes. He nodded. I didn't start again, however. I wanted to hear him say it. He looked confused for a second before rolling his eyes.

"Ok, ok. Yes, Raph. If it hurts, I'll ask you to stop. Happy?" I answered by kissing him fiercely. He was mine now. He was already mine, but today it was official.

I ran my hands carefully down his side. Wanted to be gentle. This was special. Mikey closed his eyes. He looked happy enough. I smirked.

"Ya ain't fallin' asleep on me are ya? I mean, I know this is my first time and everything but that ain't exactly a big confidence-booster." He opened his eyes and rolled them.

"_Please_. Like _you_ need a bigger ego!" Mikey grinned. That was better. Classic Mikey grin. I started smiling too without even knowing it. That was the power Mike had on me. No one could bring me happiness like he could. Even if he was the most annoying turtle in the world at times.

"Knucklehead." I flicked his forehead. He looked hurt. And annoyed 'cause I stopped petting him.

"Hothead," he teased back.

I bent down and kissed him again, putting my hand on his cheek. When he deepened the kiss, I started to feel weird. It was kinda like fire. But inside me. And it didn't hurt. That didn't make sense, never mind. But it felt like energy was shooting through me. Like I had one of Don's supremo-cups of coffee injected directly into me.

Mikey sighed, lifting his hands to wrap around my shoulders. For some reason, I was super-sensitive wherever he touched me, and it made my body excited. What would Don say? _Invigorated_.

I trailed my free hand down toward Mikey's legs. He breathed a little quicker, urging me on with his mouth.

I'm gonna leave out the specifics, but shell. I know I'd been imagining it forever. Thinking about it all the time. Everyone has an idea of what it'll finally be like. It was about seventeen times better than anythin' ya could'a imagined. Actually feelin' them. Havin' them move back against ya…

If it wasn't the best thing I ever experienced, I don't know what was. I love Mikey for Mikey, of course. This was just like an added bonus. Being inside him, making him enjoy it… This has _gotta_ be the best day of my life.

And now I get to lay here next ta him. He's asleep… ish. He keeps mumbling stuff. Whatever. Ain't like I haven't slept through noise before. I stroked his forehead. I was really tired now. But my muscles felt good. Relaxed. Loose. Spent. Worked way better than punchin' walls or training dummies. He's so beautiful.

I should get to sleep too. It's late. Or early, dependin' on how ya look at it. Either way, I'd like to function tomorrow. I closed my eyes, asleep almost seconds later with Mikey- _my _Mikey- in my arms, breathing softly.

* * *

This was the coolest, most AWESOME DAY EVER! It even beats the day that Leo let me go to comicon. _The _comicon! What could be so amazingly super-INCREDIBLE you ask? My wedding!

That's right! Mine! As in Michelangelo, mutant ninja turtle, battle nexus CHAMPION! _My_ wedding! Mine and Raph's. I know it seems a little weird, but it's just… _right_, ya know?

Anyway, I don't think Raph was as crazy about it as I was. Ok. NO ONE was as crazy about it as I was. But what can you expect? I'm MARRIED! The happiest day of my life! It was like one super-long all-day party. About me! With ALL my friends! And food! And April ordered this humungo cake. I think Raph and I alone finished off a fourth of it. I smashed some in his face too, but I don't think he liked that. He left to wash it off.

So call me a wimp, but I think I'm a sucker for weddings. The food, the music, the decorations, the people… just everything about it screams PARTY! And _everyone's_ happy at weddings! You never find anybody crying the bathroom stall or arguing over whose chair is whose. Nope! Everyone was on their BEST behavior. Even Raph!

Speaking of Raph, the most spectacular day in the history of the world HAD to come to a close eventually. And when it did, it was time for the awesomest NIGHT ever to begin. That is, Raph's and my first night together. We established these rules back when we started dating that we wouldn't do anything serious or amorous until my beau became my _man_! And now… well, guess it was time!

Raph threw his clothes on a chair while I pulled off my kimono. The one that April bought for me! I knew Sensei wanted something at this wedding to be Japanese-like, cause he's all Asian and stuff, so I wore it. I didn't mind, of course. Even though Raph kept calling it a dress. And calling me a chick. I knew he was just teasing me, and that's why I love him. He's someone I can joke with! Leo takes things too seriously and gets his feelings hurt. And Don always says something back that I'd need a translator to understand. No fun. Raph is perfect!

Ok, I TRIED to pull of my kimono. Darn thing was stuck! Then Raph was suddenly right behind me, breathing on my neck and pulling it off FOR me! Ok, that was creepy! Wait, he's my husband now. Why the shell did I get nervous? Maybe it's cause of what we were about to do. Without knowing it, I started to shake. Shell! I hope Raph didn't notice!

"Hey Mikey. You ok? Remember, ya don't gotta do anythin' ya don't wanna." Aww man, he noticed! But I AM ready! I DO want this! Better think of something quick!

"I'm great, Raphie! Don't worry about it. It's just… cold… in here… you know how the weather was today! Clear blue sky and warm my shell!" I threw in a signature Mikey-laugh. The one that NO ONE can imitate. Hope he bought it!

Raph put my silky kimono carefully over the chair with his stuff. I appreciated that he treated it better than he treated his tux. I wonder if he even knew that he did.

Then Raphie picked me up. I wasn't expecting that. It felt like I didn't have any power anymore. Like Raph was in control and- wait, _what_ am I _thinking_? Why am I panicking! I felt Raph's hand on my cheek suddenly and realized that I had been shaking again. Aw, shell!

"Mikey, I'm feelin' yer cheek. Ya ain't cold. What's wrong?" I looked into Raph's eyes. It felt like they were staring into my very ninja soul. He looked sad. That made me feel sad. Wait, why are we feeling sad? We're married! We're supposed to be dancing and singing and… doing married people-stuff! I tried to brush off Raph's question so he'd continue and be happy again.

"Maybe I ate too much cake!" I grinned. Work, please! Work work work work-

"That lie sucked. Look, Mikey. I know we agreed to do it tonight, but I ain't gonna pressure ya into anythin'. I just want ya to feel good, because I love ya. But if-" I leaned up and kissed Raph crazily to make him stop. He thought I didn't want to… do things… but I DID! I don't know why I kept getting anxious, but no way in SHELL was I about to chicken out! After all, the battle ne- wait, Raph said he loves me! Awww! My sappy Raphy.

"I love you too, Raphie. And trust me when I say this: I'm ready. Nervous, but ready." It sounded so much better when it came out of my mouth. I mean, those words weren't even planned! Shell, I'm good! That's how thoughts generally work for me. I just say them and everything works itself out. Even when my head is a jumbled mess. One of my many talents…

I started to kiss Raph again, putting my arms around him. My nervousness was gone now. Now all I wanted to do was get it _on_ with Raph. But he pulled away. The shell? Didn't my impromptu sentence a minute back do the trick? I mean, you _heard _it, didn't you?

"Alright. We'll do this, but if it hurts ya, ya tell me to stop and we stop immediately. Ya got that?" Raph grabbed my cheek and make me look into his eyes. His fiery and expressive eyes that always seemed to be focused on me. He made me feel special. Well, I AM special, so… I nodded, trying to get him to start kissing me again, but no cigar! So to speak… I don't _smoke_ or anything! Splinter always says, 'tobacco is a ninja's number one enemy!' Or was that the Shredder? Wait, didn't I hear that on some 'Just say no' commercial last week? Shell, now I'm confused! Wait, when did I start thinking about cigarettes? Oh yeah, because Raph just keeps STARING at me! Oh, wait.

I rolled my eyes. He just wants me to say it out loud. Why's he being so serious all of a sudden? That's totally a Leo thing to do. Whatever. If that's what he wants…

"Ok, ok. Yes, Raph. If it hurts, I'll ask you to stop. Happy?" I'd barely finished my sarcastic response when Raph _attacked _my lips! Now _this _is more like it! Raph's hands were the embodiment of pleasure as they rolled down my sides. I closed my eyes, focusing on that feeling. So good…

"Ya ain't fallin' asleep on me are ya? I mean, I know this is my first time and everything but that ain't exactly a big confidence-booster." I opened my eyes and rolled them again. Yeah, right.

"_Please_. Like _you_ need a bigger ego!" If Raph got any cockier, he might explode. Then my husband would be reduced to a pile of Raph bits. That would be pretty gross. I liked Raph in one piece.

"Knucklehead." Raph called me a knucklehead! OW! AND he just flicked my forehead!

"Hothead," I teased. Ha! What now? Two can play at this game, Monsieur Raphael. Of course, he decided not to say anything else. Probably 'cause he knows I'd win. Raph kissed me again. For like, the bajillionth time! And I felt happy and excited sensations running through my turtle-veins for the bajillionth time.

I stuck my tongue in his mouth. I could physically FEEL the heat and energy pouring out of him. That's Raph. An endless generator. And people said _I_ had a lot of energy! I mean, Raph could fight all day, use up all his energy, challenge the _Shredder,_ and still run on pure willpower alone! He was really amazing, and I'm glad that he chose ME to be with. But then again, why _wouldn't_ he choose me? I'm adorable!

Raph's hand when down towards… er, went _down_. And then stuff happened. Awesome, wonderful stuff. Stuff that can't be accurately recorded in words! Things that you'd have to EXPERIENCE to understand.

I mean, at first it hurt. And not like, 'ow, I stubbed my toe!' hurt, but like, 'Karai's freaking slicing through my shell!' hurt. Kind of. I don't know. I was definitely having second thoughts. I thought, 'is it supposed to hurt this much?' I seriously thought I must've been bleeding! But I'm _no_ coward… ok, so I am sometimes but I _wasn't_ about to ask Raph to stop! I told him it didn't hurt. And soon enough, it didn't. That's when it just started to feel strange, ya know? Unnatural. But I guess that's 'cause I'm not used to it. But when he started moving, praise the LORD it felt good!

It was like the awesomeness of a stack of new comics, unlimited pizza, and no training COMBINED. No wait, that's a horrible analogy. It was like… remeeting- no… umm… Like I said before, it can't be described with words. You either know it or you don't, and that's just all there is to it.

Afterward, once I could breathe again, I whispered 'I love you's' to my husband until I fell asleep, I guess. I don't really remember much else, so I must've been out pretty quickly. I wonder if that bugged Raph. Who can blame me? I was COMPLETELY out of fuel! And that's, like, a first for me. But Raph still had enough to wrap his arms around me, which I appreciated. Raph is really sweet when he wants to be, and that's usually when there's no one around to see it. Well, besides me, of course. It's a completely different side of Raphael that only I know. The side he saves for me, and me alone. That makes me feel like the luckiest turtle on the face of the planet. And all I have to do is roll over and see Raph's face to know that I am.

* * *

The END! So? So? You know what to do!


	9. Chapter 8

And here it is! Sorry for the wait, but it's the longest one YET! ^ ^ Enjoy! Oh! And clearing up some confusion, the last chapter was NOT the last chapter. I said the end at the bottom, but I was just being weird. So if you read it, and are all, "NOOO!", just think, 'LIES!' and carry on. Thank you! :D

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning! T-cest! LeoxDon, RaphxMikey

Disclaimer! We don't own anything tmnt! S'all Nick now!

* * *

It was 7:10 am when Mikey started to stir. His body twitched as he opened his eyes slowly. The door creaked, revealing a smirking Raph with a tray of food in his hands.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty."

"Morning, Raphie," Mikey said softly as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Brought ya breakfast," Raph pointed out the obvious, placing the tray beside Mikey on the bed.

"Aww, so sweet! Thanks!" Mikey said, perking up, already cheerful. He took a large bite of toast, chewing for a bit as his mind woke up the rest of the way. "You know, last night was wonderful."

"Ya lied to me," Raph said, meeting Mikey's eyes. Mikey's chewing slowed. "Ya were in pain and ya didn't tell me."

"How do you know?" Mikey asked, quizzically, blushing slightly as he struggled to pretend everything was fine.

"Ya tellin' me this is paint?" Raph questioned, pointing at little red blotches in the bed sheets. Mikey winced.

"Raph, it's not a big deal." Mikey smiled, hoping to convince Raph, who, unfortunately, seemed dissatisfied with his answer. Mikey rolled eyes, realizing Raph wasn't buying.

"So it hurt at first… but hey! It's normal! And it was just for a few seconds," Mikey said as calmly as he could. Raph lowered his gaze. Mikey lifted his mate's chin.

"You didn't do anything bad, Raphie. Stop worrying for nothing," Mikey said softly.

"Can't help it… I don't wanna be the one who hurts ya in any way… Ok, that sounded corny," Raph said, face heating up at being 'caught in the act.'

"Yeah… but you know what?" Mikey smiled hugging Raph "I love you. Corny or not."

* * *

Two hours later, everyone was awake and discussing the wedding with much excitement, laughing at the memories still fresh in their minds. Including the newly-weds. Well… everyone save for a certain purple-masked ninja who apparently had no desire to leave his bed. Which was odd; Leo and Don were the _always_ first ones up. Leo, for training purposes and general early-bird-ness, and Don, for carpe diem work-to-do purposes.

"I'd better go and see if Donnie's ok. It's 9:45 already! This is unlike him… You think he's sick?" Leo asked, worried.

"Maybe he's just tired. The wedding _was_ long, after all," April suggested.

"Maybe... I'll go anyway. Just to be sure." He dashed up the stairs, Donatello his destination.

* * *

I rolled over, stirring slightly and groaning. Shell, I'm exhausted! My feet hurt, my back aches… everything's sore! Especially my head. I couldn't sleep. Well, I must have at some point. I winced. At which point, I must have slept wrong. Shell…

Renet's fault. I spent most of the night trying to figure out what she was talking about but nothing came to my mind. _'Something terrible,'_ she said. Could the Shredder be coming back again? Nah! That wouldn't make any sense. How would me confessing to Leo affect that in the slightest? Don't think that's it. But she looked worried and sad about whatever she was talking about. Anyway... everybody's sleeping right now so… I'd better stay here. It's late… Wait. I don't even _know_ what time. Well, I suppose that's unimportant. Seeing as I'm exhausted and aching, I wasn't about to move to check, so there was no need to dwell on it. I closed my eyes, trying to force myself back to sleep. Maybe I would feel better in the morning.

* * *

Leo knocked on the door softly just to find it swing open, never close to begin with. He peeked inside. His brother was still sleeping, with the blankets tightly wrapped around him. Leo thought Don must be running a fever or something and ran to his side, feeling his forehead. It was slightly hot, which worried Leo even more.

"Donnie? Donnie…" Leo gently shook his brother's shoulder in an attempt to wake him up.

_

* * *

Hmmm? Oh great… who the shell is shaking me? It's the middle of the night! I'm trying to sleep here! If it's Mikey, I'll…_

* * *

Don refused to get up, wrapping the blankets a little more around him. Leo persisted, nudging more urgently, but Don just wouldn't be roused. The more Leo moved him, the more Don frowned and growled in his sleep, digging his face further into the comforters embedding him.

"Don, it's almost 10! You have to wake up!" Don mumbled something, but showed no signs of getting up. Leo's patience reached its limits. If Don was this hard to get up, Leo was glad Don got up early on a regular basis so he wouldn't have to drag him out for training. One Raph is plenty.

"Ok, that's it. Sleep-time's over!" Leo growled frustratedly and pulled back the covers in one swift movement.

"Shell… Just five more minutes!" Don pouted, covering his eyes.

"Don, you're running a fever! Like shell I'm gonna let you sleep 5 more minutes! You need to cool down and take something before it gets worse." Leo said in a serious, concerned-older-brother tone.

"Fever?" Don touched his forehead and smiled at his brother's worry. "Leo, I'm only warm because I was nestled under a bunch of blankets. It's nothing serious. Fever-free, I'm afraid."

"Oh. Well then…" Leo felt dumb at the moment. "Sorry…"

"Don't worry about it. No harm done. It's probably past time to get up if you're in here… Just don't complain later when Raph dubs you 'Mother Hen'," Don teased. Leo winced at the familiar nickname.

"Well, when you still weren't up, I sort of panicked. I thought you were ill or something! This is very unlike you," Leo smiled, relieved that there was indeed nothing wrong with the genius. "By the way, we're going to go camping near the river this afternoon. You interested?"

"Sure." With this, Leo left the room.

* * *

That's Leo for you! Always worrying about us. Hmmm… I wonder how Raph and Mikey are now. Obviously happy. I mean, _duh_. Mikey smiled all day. I even thought his face had frozen that way at one point. How else someone can manage to keep a smile for almost 24 hours straight? Well, I guess that's a Mikey thing. Something only my little brother could pull off.

Hmm. Looks like things had significantly cooled down downstairs since yesterday. April was out with Casey, Sensei was meditating out on the porch, Leo, doing some katas, and I had ventured to the kitchen, sitting at the table whilst I programmed new settings into my shell-cell. Well, at least I was _trying._ I was getting awfully distracted by Raph's and Mikey's flirting show as they were did the dishes. They're married… I know that, but… come on! Pardon the expression, but… get yourselves a room!

I had never seen them so… I don't know… corny and fluffy? I guess it's part of the honeymoon stage. Mike and Raph being fluffy, that it. Woah, that was new. Never thought I'd hear fluffiness and _Raph_ in the same sentence! Guess we owe it all to the wonders of marriage.

Uh oh! Mikey just splashed soap onto Raph's face! Run! You're _so_ dead…

"Ya think that's funny, don't cha?" Raph said while Mikey grinned at him. I winced. Mikey…

I don't want to see how_ this_ ends!

Raph simply mimicked his mate's action, Mikey to stare at him in disbelief. Disbelief that I could relate to. Raph? _Dish soap? Not_ losing his _temper?_

"Now we're even," Raph said with a smug smirk in his face.

"Ok… so THAT'S how you wanna play, huh? Then let's play!" Mikey said teasingly, splashing some water onto his husband's face.

That… was unexpected. I thought I was about to witness a typical Raph-chasing-Mikey scene. Guess not. I suppose I'll have to get use to this.

With all the soapy water covering the floor, Mikey lost balance and almost fell, but luckily Raph caught him in time. Whew! Close call! Mikey's such a klutz.

And then… the corny part started… again. They were staring into each other's eyes intimately before they kissed. I kind of wanted to look away… to give them their privacy. But I couldn't bring myself to. It was kinda… tender. Sweet. But I couldn't help but feel… jealous… and sad, and… somewhat annoyed! They splashed water on me! And it got all over my shell-cell!

…

* * *

"Could you two just cut it out?" Don yelled angrily, slamming his phone onto the table.

"Geez, Don! What's the matter with ya?" Raph questioned, slightly taken back.

"I'm trying to _work_ here, if you haven't noticed! Tch! Then again, how _would_ you notice something like that with your face _glued_ to Mikey's?" Don said in a dry and sarcastic tone.

"Watch yer words, Brainiac!" Raph growled, giving his brother his warning glare.

"Don, I…" Mikey cut in, trying to calm down things but Don interrupted him before he could say anything.

"Never mind. I'm out of here. If someone needs me, I'll be outside… _working!_" With this, Don left the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Now Raph was _really_ angry at his brother's behavior.

"That's it! He's SO de-!" Raph was about to leave the room but Mikey grabbed his hand, forcing him to stop.

"Raphael! Please… don't…" Mikey said with a shaky voice and glassy eyes, willing Raph to leave Don in peace.

"Hey, why ya cryin'?" Raph asked, anger temporarily vanishing and getting replaced with concern when he saw a little tear rolling down his mate's face.

"I'm n-not… it's just… I-I have some… soap in my eye" Mikey said avoiding Raph's eyes

"If this is for Don, I'll make him regret it!" Raph said, snapping back to anger.

"Raph, please. He's our brother!" Mikey pleaded in a calm voice (calmer than usual) as he tried to calm down the red-masked ninja.

"That doesn't give 'im the right to start actin' all moody when we didn't do nothin'!" Raph replied hotly.

"I'll talk to him about it. Just promise me you won't hurt him when he gets like that. Promise me, Raph!" Mikey said.

"Alright, I promise," Raph sighed, slumping his shoulders in defeat. "But I still don't get why he's been acting so weird these past few months… four to be exact." He'd initially thought it would blow over, but it was lasting too long to be anything miniscule. And Raph hated not knowing.

"I'll find out what's wrong with him. But first… we have a lot of cleaning to do. This place is a mess!" Mikey chuckled, pulling on a grumbling Raph's hand.

* * *

What the shell is wrong with me? Why would I say that? And Mikey's face… ahh shell! He looked hurt. It's his first day married and I had to ruin it by reprimanding him for socializing with his husband! Stupid me! It's not their fault I'm hiding my feelins from Leo. I guess Leo was right; I'm a coward after all.

I'm so glad Splinter had left the porch by now, giving me a little time alone to alleviate my mind. I know I have to apologize but… not now. I've said enough. A hand on my shoulder made me come back to Earth.

"Don, you ok?" Leo asked in concern. Ah shell, not him!

"Hi, Leo. Yeah, I'm ok… just… relaxing a bit." Yeah, right…

"You look kinda… I don't know… sad, depressed…" Uh! How on Earth did you know? I'm _impressed_! Sorry. Sarcasm talking. I hate thinking these bitter thoughts.

"I'm just tired…"_ …of lying!_

"You slept 'til almost noon,.. You can't be tired!" Leo chuckled.

"Well, _pardon me_ for being in a sour mood_," _I ? Did I just say that? Oh my… I'm turning into Raph: the sequel!

"Seems like you're having a Raph day." He's smiling again. I can't stand it! Shell! I feel my face burning again! I gotta run!

Without words, I left the porch, leaving him staring after me with a puzzled face. How the _shell_ didn't he notice the _blush_ on my face! Not that I'm complaining, but… Oh well. No turning back now. I walked as fast as I could before he could catch me.

"Hey! Where are you going?" His voice sounded farther off as I gained distance. Good. He's not following me. He's just standing there, confused … probably angry… maybe hurt… I felt a pang of sadness.

"Don! Donatello, come back here!" I heard him yelling.

I'm sorry, Leo. It's not your fault! Please, _please_ don't follow me. Please. I need to be alone. I'm still not ready to tell you how much you mean to me… how much I love you. Maybe I'll never be ready. But wait a little longer, okay?

* * *

It's almost 5 pm. I'd been hiking solo in the forest ever since my little run-in with Leo earlier, and now I'm near the river. I'm hidden behind a tree, watching the others play and have fun. Casey and Raph were wrestling in the water, and splashed some on April accidentally. She didn't look very pleased. Now she's chasing them! Haha! Go get 'em April!

Yeah… Seems like everybody is having a great time. I'm glad I'm not there. I'd probably only ruin the fun like the killjoy I'm becoming.

Looks like they finished. Now they're leaving… hmm… Strange. Where did Mikey go? I swear I saw him holding hands with Raph _just_ a couple of seconds ago, and now it's like… he just vanished!

"It's bad manners to spy on people, Bro."

"GYAH! WHAT the… Mikey?" What the shell? He's faster than I thought!

"The one and only. Don't tell me I _scared_ you!" Mikey teased.

"Well, duh! Sneaking around like that… Who do you think you are? An Elite Foot Ninja?" That analogy sounded weird_. _But I say weird things when I get startled.

"Wow, relax Bro! I'm just kidding!"

"What are you doing here?" _Relax _Don, try to be polite! After what you said earlier, he deserves it. I felt the guilt start to bubble up again.

"I was gonna ask _you_ the same thing! Leo told us you were _coming._ But you just stayed here missing the fun, Bro! I almost didn't notice you. I have to admit, you're good at hiding, but not excellent, Donnie. You'll need to work on that. And if you ask REALLY nicely, I might even give you some tips!" Haha. Very funny, Mikey_._

"Listen, Mikey. I'm sorry for what happened this morning. That's all that I'm going to say. All I _can _say. I'm not in the mood to talk…" C'mon! You know that's a lie, Donatello! You can talk to him! You _know_ keeping this inside is only hurting you, and _this_ is the perfect opportunity! He'd understand! He's _married_, for gosh sakes!

"First of all, apology accepted. It's cool. Second, I'm not leaving without knowing what's wrong with you. We're all worried, Donnie. You're not the same!" Mikey said with concern in his voice. I hated seeing him this way. _Making_ him this way.

"Mikey, please. Don't worry about me; there's really no need! You should be happy now that you're married! Not worried about me and my silly mood swings_." _Mood swings! I'm not pregnant… Poor choice of words. Ha! And I'm supposed to be the _smart_ one!

"O…kay… _that_ sounded awkward! But anyway, we're _family,_ Donnie. If you're not ok, then… none of us is ok! Look! If Raph and I are bothering you, then…"

"No, NO! It's _NOT_ _that_! I'm _happy_ for you two. Really! It's just… " C'mon, tell him! "I've been feeling…" Say it! Say it!"… It's a teenager phase. I looked it up." _Damn_! Ok, I know I don't normally swear, but… I'm such an idiot!

"I hope it's not contagious! We're _all_ in our teens, you know? You think Raph and I-"

"I don't think so. Yes, you're teens, but you're _together_ so… if something like this happens to you, which is HIGHLY unlikely, I'm sure you'll deal with it together and that'll make it bearable."Yeahh, _that_ makes sense!

"Hmm… maybe if YOU had someone…" Uh-oh! Warning! Face heating again! Change the topic! Change the _topic_ for shell's sake!

"Eh… it's not that easy, Mikey. _Anyway_, it's getting late. We better head back to the house. Raph is probably worrying about what's taking you so long." Phew! Looks like he didn't notice!

"Ok, but remember, Bro: if you need someone to talk with… I'll be here. Ok?" Mikey said with his friendly smirk, turning and making his way to the farmhouse.

I smiled at that. At the very least, I know I can count on Mikey… and _maybe_ Raph. But something tells me I'm going to need more than just a friendly ear. Even if I had their help, I'd still feel dubious that the phrase "Leo and Don" would ever actually appear. Why would Leo want me back?

* * *

*bows* Soooo? Review time? And I want to say thanks to all the people who've already been reviewing. Thanks to Angel, The Mutant Rebel, artychick7, Halloween Witch, JustRandomSomebody, and dondena. But ESPECIALLY artychick7 and Halloween Witch, who've been keeping up and reviewing CONSTANTLY! I loves you guys! ^ ^


	10. Chapter 9

Here's the long awaited chapter! Crikey, it's huge! As in 3.8k WORDS! And you have to read it ALL! Hahaha! ^ ^

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

WARNING! Turtlecest! DonxLeo, MikexRaph

DISCLAIMER! We don't own turtles. Or the song Don's singing.

* * *

Back in the lair once more. I made up with Raph, Mikey and Leo. Of course, now they all think that a "teenager phase" is the cause of my strange behavior… Which is good! Sort of.

I've been still wondering on Renet's words… something terrible, something terrible… And then I think: what could be more terrible than a life spent lying to my family? Initiate guilt trip.

Anyway, I've tried to avoid contact with Leo for as long as possible. But I learned something. After only an hour, my face started heating up! I couldn't let him see me that way! Being a genius, I overanalyze everything. I've been taking notes of my reactions every time I'm with or near Leo so I can control my emotions before I do something stupid. It helps me know what to watch out for.

And Raph and Mikey? Well, things have been going pretty normally between them. Standard. Mikey still pulls pranks on Raph. And Raph still chases Mikey around the lair. Only difference is this time, Raph doesn't use him as a punching bag once he catches him. Instead, he tickles Mikey breathless! _That'll_ take some getting used to. It's all so… _weird!_

We're training now. Our sessions are pretty normal, for… you know Everything. Unfortunately, Master Splinter continues to pair up Raph and Mikey in the sparring matches. Which leaves me with- you guessed it- Leo.

"It is vital _all_ of you remember that there is no place for relations on the battlefield," said Master it's_ true. _I sunk down a bit. I hope it wasn't noticeable.

"Leonardo. You are to finish directing your brothers' training. I promised to train Miss O'Neil this morning," Splinter said before he left the lair for April's house, leaving behind his four sons.

"Ok guys. Raph, Mikey… you two can take a little break while I work with Don," Leo said.

"Ya serious, bro?" Raph asked in surprise. Leo nodded.

"THANKS LEO! YOU'RE AN ANGEL!" Mikey yelled happily, having been fed-up and bored with training for over an hour now, and gave Leo a bear hug.

"It's ok, it's ok Mikey! Now, let me go before you choke me!" Leo chuckled.

I couldn't believe it! Leo was going to train me? _Me_? _ALONE_? Shell, shell, shell! Ok, Don. Relax. Take deep breaths. It's _just_ a training session. Nothing more.

"Don, I've seen you move with your bo, and I think you could be a little faster."

"I thought I was fast enough already!" Seriously, I thought I was_!_

"Not quite, Bro. Take your position."

I rolled my eyes, doing what Leo told me, but before I could notice it, he had come up behind me and was placing my hands my bo-staff. I started to feel dizzy, and thanked my lucky stars I wasn't fainting in that moment. I could feel my knees buckling and my breathing quickening. _Not_ good. If I kept this up, Leo would notice something!

"Ok now… if you move set hand here and move other one like this, you could…"

Shell! He's so close! _Too _close! I can't stop staring at him… Oh, God. This can't be happening. He's talking, but I have absolutely no idea what he's saying. His hands on mine… Those wonderfully toned hands. His breath on my shoulder, tickling me beyond all coherent thought… His face… it seemed like he'd never been this gorgeous. The determined yet kind look on his face while he instructs me. I inwardly sighed. Pathetic. I'm definitely in love with him. I was so focused on Leo that I couldn't even sense the pair of blue eyes gawking at me in my time of weakness.

* * *

"Raph, Raph! Come check this out!" Mikey squealed excitedly.

"Check what out?" Raph asked, entering into the dojo with a soda on his hand.

He was genuinely curious as to what had gotten Mikey so riled up,

"That!" Mikey exclaimed as he bounced up and down, pointing at Leo and Don.

"… And that's how you can take advantage of your opponent. Got it?" Leo asked. Shell! What did he say?

"Huh? Oh… I'm… I'm sorry, Leo. Can you repeat that part, please?" _L-A-M-E. _Come on, Don! Really?

"Um… Don, your face is all red. You ok?" _DAMN! HE NOTICED_! Make up an excuse_!_

"I'm fine, really! I guess… it's just from training for so long…" Work, work, work, please!

"Maybe we should take a break." It worked! Good! Whew, close call.

"No, no, I'm fine. Well, actually I think I'm going to get some water." Water would be nice.

"You stay here, I'll get the water," Leo smiled and left the dojo. Phew! Now I could breathe again. There you are, brain! I slowly regained my ability to function.

"Did you see that?" Mikey questioned, looking at Raph with a playful smirk.

"Reminded me of… someone…" Raph said, looking at Mikey with a smug expression on his face.

"So that explains why he's been acting weird. Heh! Teenager phase? Looks more like an "in love with Leo phase" to me!" Mikey chuckled.

"You think we should talk to him?" Raph asked.

"Shell yeah! I promised him that I'd be here for him whenever he needed me, and I think this is the perfect opportunity to prove it!"

"Ya know he's gonna deny it, right?" Raph added.

"Yeah, but _you're_ gonna help me if he does!" Mikey said with a smirk.

"Awww!" Raph groaned. "Do I hafta?"

"C'mon, Raphie! Please… for _me_?" Mikey said, utilizing his well-known puppy eyes.

Raph gave an aggravated sigh. "… I hate when ya use the puppy eyes on me."

"Does that mean you'll help when I go talk to him?" Mikey persisted.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll help ya" Raph said.

"Thanks, Honey!" Mikey said happily, hugging Raph until he almost lost his balance.

"If you two get any sweeter, I'm going to get cavities," Leo joked as he entered into the dojo, water in hand.

"Yer just jealous," Raph said sticking his tongue out, in a very Mikey-like fashion.

"Yeah, right. Let us see how jealous YOU are when I take Mikey for _his_ training," Leo teased.

"Awww! Now?" Mikey pouted.

"Listen to the best man, Mike," Raph teased, referring to Leo.

"Here's your water, Donnie. I suggest you take a nap or something till you feel better," Leo said, handing Don the glass.

"Yeah, thanks." Leo's fingers brushed Don's, causing him to drop the glass.

"I… I'm sorry! I… I'm so stupid!" Don said sadly before he ran out of the dojo.

"What's wrong with him? It was just a glass… didn't even break," Leo wondered, confused. Then he sighed. They weren't done. "Oh well. We'd better finish up your training, Mikey," Leo said, not any less bemused about his brother's behavior.

"We _definitely_ have to talk with him," muttered Raph.

* * *

Back in my safe shelter. What an awful scene! He must think I'm the dumbest, weakest, and clumsiest turtle in the world! I thought I could control my emotions… just like he does! Does he control his emotions, you may ask? Well, the answer is YES. He does! He hardly ever cries; he can control his laughter, his sadness, his anger… gosh, he's perfect. And I can't control _one_ emotion for more than five minutes. I'm just a pathetic wannabe of Leo. I'm sure that's why he hasn't noticed my feelings. He loves perfection, and I… like I said… I'm pathetic. My feelings are pathetic. He'd never want to be with someone like me.

_***Knock-knock***_

Ah, shell! Who can it be now? I snorted. Just like that song. _Who can it beeee now… _Great, now I'm listening songs in my head! I've _really _lost it.

I hope it's not Leo, I'm not in the mood to see him with his worried face… then I'd have to lie again and… Shell, I can't face him. Not yet.

"Hey Donnie! Can you come to the lab, please? Your computer is acting kinda weird…" Mikeys voice floated in.

"WHAT THE SHELL? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BABY?" This is just _not_ my day!

I ran as fast as I could to inspect the damage. Fortunately, my computer seemed intact. Operating normally. All the data's here. Okay… if this is one of Mikey's _pranks_, I'll make him regret it! Somehow… I just want to stay locked up in my room right now. I could run into Leo at any second out here! This is _dangerous territory!_

"Har-di-har Mikey! You almost gave me a heart attack!" I yelled as I walked upstairs.

I slammed the door behind me once I was in my room again and slumped facedown in the bed.

"Everythin' ok with yer _baby_, huh?" Eeek! What the…!

"Raph? Mikey? What the shell are you two doing in here?" I asked in shock.

"We just wanted to talk to you… you know… like old times," Mikey said, smirking.

"Old times?" Hello? Confused turtle here!

"Yeah, old times" Mikey repeated. I have a baaaaad feeling about this.

"…What are you two up to?" I questioned, not sure if I really wanted to know.

"We just wanted to help with you with your… _problem_," Mikey said calmly.

"My problem?" I'm feeling something… I knew this was a talk I did _not_ want to have.

"Yer 'teenager phase,' Don," Raph said, making air quote marks.

"Donnie, remember when you told me that Raph and I could pass through this phase of yours too?" Mikey said in a playful tone.

"Well, I…" Shell! My ninja senses are tingling! Ok, that sounded stupid. Like something Mikey would say. But I can't help it. I say stupid things when I'm under pressure!

"Guess what? We already _passed_ that phase… ya know?" Raph added.

"We used to act like you… well, me more than Raph" Mikey chuckled, his eyes looking at the ceiling as if his memories were playing there like a movie.

"What do you mean?" Duh! You know what they mean, Don. Could they _be _any more obvious? Quit playing dumb!

"Ya know what we mean." Obviously, Raph. I'm positive it's written all over my face. You know I'm not good at hiding my emotions. How it took you this long to figure it out, I'll never understand.

"Didn't you notice some changes in me when it happened? Like daydreaming…" Mikey offered.

"… Clumsiness…" Raph continued.

"… Mood swings…" Mikey added.

"… Can't stand being in da same room with…" Ok, I've had enough!

"Stop, stop, stop! What the shell are you talking about?" I interrupted them abruptly.

"Three words, Bro." Mikey said teasingly. Oh no. Don't say it… please.

"You…" Mikey started.

No… no, no! Please someone pinch me and tell me this is a bad dream… A nightmare! That's all it is. In real life, Raph and Mikey are ignorant as ever! This is all just a-

"… like…" Raph added. Shell! I covered my ears. I didn't want to hear them say the last word. They couldn't!

"L-"

Ok, I give! I may be about to make the most foolish decision in my life… but I have to be the one to say it. After this, I won't be able to deny it anymore, and I'll have to go through with it. It won't be secret… I need to stop talking myself out of it. Here goes nothing.

"ALRIGHT! I'll admit it! I like Leo! I can't stand being near him because I know that I night faint or blush or… or… do something else really stupid! I can't help it because I…I love him. I'm in love with Leo." There. I did it. I gave them a pleading look. I know it's unrealistic. Laughable. But please don't laugh. Or worse: tell him! I grew frantic. Then he'll tell Sensei and… and…

"It was that difficult, Bro?" Mikey asked with a soft smile on his face. What? I _demand_ to know the reason behind this reaction!

"You're not… going laugh to laugh at me?" I asked in utter disbelief. I thought for sure he'd be rolling on the floor clutching his ribs by now. Me! In love with the _Fearless Leader_. Who's _way_ out of my league.

"Yer kiddin', right?" Raph asked, chuckling. Chuckling?

"Of course we're not gonna laugh!" Mikey said seriously.

"Are you… going to tell him?" Mikey shook his head. This is getting weirder and weirder! _Definitely _not what I expected in a reaction!

"No way, Bro! We could never do that… not after what ya did for us!" All right. Now I'm just plain lost. What the SHELL are they talking about?

"Maybe you should explain that to him, Raph" Mikey suggested. He nodded. Those two are so in sync now, it amazes me. I looked to Raph curiously.

"If it wasn't fer _YOU_… I would never have marred Mikey." Huh? WHAT? How could _I_ possibly have had an impact on this?

"Be more specific, Hon," Mikey said, noticing my hopelessly confused face.

"Mikey… I told ya, not in front of the guys," Raph argued at the sweet pet name Mikey had just used to address him. Mikey just chuckled at his husband's distress.

"Well, the thing is… I saw ya sneaking up on us when we were in da garage all those months ago," Raph said.

"Raph, I…" Aww shell! I really _am_ bad at hiding! I thought they hadn't seen me!

"Please. Lemme finish. I saw ya and I told Mikey. We thought we were doomed. We thought you were gonna tell Splinter, and that we would get rejected," Raph continued. I listened in awe.

"But you didn't, Donnie," Mikey pointed out.

"So then we decided that a little time away from each other would be best. For the family's sake. But…we couldn't We _needed_ ta be together," Raph explained.

"Remember that night when I woke you up because of that weird dream I had?" Mikey asked.

"Yeah… you said you were in a forest and you saw two paths. One of them was dark and eerie. And the other was bright and beautiful. However, you were unable to see the end of either path," I recalled remembering my little brother's dream quite well, especially for having heard it in the middle of the night.

"That night, you told me the dream meant I had a decision to make, but I had to careful and cautious. I had to not judge…" Mikey said.

"…The book by its cover…" I finished. "Yeah, I remember that." It's nice to know he was paying attention for once. And that I managed to teach him that phrase. It has helped me more times than I can count.

"Then I came and told ya I had a dream too. And it was the same, for the most part," Raph said. I nodded. This had also happened.

"Well, when we went back to sleep, we had the dream again," Mikey continued.

"Wanna know which path we chose?" I nodded.

"We chose the dark one." I eyed them curiously, silently asking for an explanation. Mikey took a deep breath before talking again.

"When we walked into the dark path, we saw it wasn't so long, scary and dark as it looked to be. And at the end of that path, there was light and happiness," Mikey explained.

"The bright one was long and beautiful, but… at the end… there was a cliff. Down the cliff there were spikes and darkness," Raph added.

"You were right about the cover thingy," Mikey smirked. I smiled in understanding and amusement.

"So, let me see if I have this straight: the dark path… was the secret relation you had, and the light at the end… that was what awaited when you told Splinter and he accepted you. But the bright one was the false happiness you could have if you'd kept the secret, and the dark at the end, the result of being discovered after a long, long chain of lies," I deduced. Metaphorical dreams. Impressive.

"That's why we decided to tell the truth, and… well… it looks like we made the right decision. Thanks to you, Donnie," Mikey grinned, hugging Raph, who rolled his eyes but was clearly enjoying it.

"And for that… we wanna help ya."

"Guys, I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but… trust me. It's better this way," I sighed.

"What way? Bein' moody and clumsy just 'cause ya can't tell Fearless ya have feelings for him? Ya think it's _BETTER _that way?" Raph growled. I sighed. They didn't understand. "Do ya think it would've been _better_ if _Mikey_ had never told me his feelin's?"

"Raph, your relationship with Mikey is different! You're not the leader of this team. And neither is Mikey. You don't have the pressure of being next in line after Splinter… After he… goes. Leo is Splinter's son…" I tried to explain while simultaneously making my way out of the room. Must. Escape.

"And so are we, Don!" Raph replied hotly, following me out. Shell, leave me alone!

"I know that, but… what I'm tried to say is… Splinter has put all his trust into Leo… Leo's supposed to be in charge of everything. And you know Leo. He never disobeys Sensei. If Sensei tells him he can't have a relationship with me, then… he'll obey him. Like he always does. And then what? What am I supposed to do, huh? Suffer my whole life, knowing we can't be together because he'll continue to Splinter's orders, even _after_ he passes away?" I shot angrily. I'd put a lot of thought into this very matter. Leo's the leader. It can never be.

"But Splinter accepted _us_! And since Leo is Sensei's favorite…" Mikey reentered the conversation.

"That doesn't mean anything! Pay attention to the obvious, guys! Leo would never-" I found myself interrupted by a new voice.

"I would never what?" Leo asked.

"You… eh… you…" Mikey stuttered, trying to think of an excuse.

"You would never let me skip practice tonight!" I blurted, making up a credible excuse on the spot. Impressive.

"Oh… well, since you're not feeling well… maybe I _could_ let you skip practice… but just this once," Leo said.

"Thanks. Now, could you guys leave me alone, and stay _out_ of _MY_ room, please?" I said, giving sharp glares to Mikey and Raph before locking myself in my room once more.

* * *

"But…"

"Leave him, Mikey. We'll talk with him later," Raph said.

"He's still acting weird, huh?" Leo asked in concern.

"We're trying to help him, but… nothing seems to work." Mikey replied sadly.

"Let him be, guys. He said it was just a phase. I'm sure he'll get over it soon enough," Leo said, trying to sound positive and reassuring before going downstairs.

"He's _so_ naïve," Raph said.

"Yeah… but Don's right."

"He's not, and ya know it, Mikey," Raph argued.

"Raph, if this is what Don wants… we can't force him. Besides, I think he has a point. Leo _is_ the leader, and someday… he'll be the head of the family. He can't allow himself any kind of distractions…" Mikey explained.

"Is ours a distraction?" Raph said, looking firmly at his mate's eyes.

"No, Raph! I would never say or think that!" Mikey insisted.

"Then where's the sin in it?" Raph said angrily. "Why can we have somethin', and not Don and Leo?"

"Raphie, please..." Mikey said, kissing his cheek.

"I just don't get it, Mikey. Donnie doesn't deserve to live like this," Raph sighed.

"I know, Hon. We'll help him… whether he likes it or not!" Mikey said, hugging Raph.

* * *

*mega bow* Sorry for the delay, my sweets! Been SO insanely busy with school. We were doing this video project the was due Friday, but then we lost all the footage and had to reshoot AND edit over the weekend! GAH! Enough stress for a lifetime... -_-

Buttt... if you LOVE this pairing, like Who and I, you can check out an unrelated fic I wrote in celebration of Valentine's Day! It's called 'A Simple Valentine's Day.' Check it out if you have time! Ok, enough shameless advertising. And thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing.

So, you know what to do! ^ ^ Oh, and let me know how great YOUR V-Day was!


	11. Chapter 10

Tada! ANOTHER humungo chapter! And the most climactic by FAR! Wait no longer! Read read read! ^ ^ 3.7k!

Thank you to EVERYONE who read or reviewed the last chapter, including milkywaymidnight, Angel, dondena, Kate Maxwell (you rock, Hon), artychick7, and Halloween Witch!

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning! Turtlecest! LeoxDon, MikexRaph

Disclaimer! We DO NOT own turtles!

* * *

Three weeks had passed. During that time, Don excused himself from training and most other activities, and Leo told Splinter his brother wasn't feeling well so he could be left in peace. Once in his room, Don was rolling in his bed, trying to get some sleep, but failing miserably. His brothers knew about his attraction to his blue masked brother. And they wanted to help him. But it wasn't that simple. Leo was the leader. A relationship with Don would be a conflict of interest. Leo couldn't have favorites. If something happened to Donnie because he got distracted, he would never forgive himself. Don knew and understood that perfectly.

But the more he tried to deny it, the more his love for Leo increased. Don thought he was becoming insane. Love was a disease and Don was gravely ill.

* * *

In the dojo, once the guys ended their training session, Mikey made his way to his sensei's room.

"Master Splinter, may I speak with you?" Mikey asked, knocking the door softly.

"Certainly, my son," Splinter responded, gesturing for his son to join him.

"I… I want to ask you something but… I don't think I know how…" Mikey explained nervously, kneeling in front of his sensei.

"Take your time, Michelangelo. The words will come to you."

"Well, when Raph and I… you know… told you about our… involvement… how did you feel? And please. I want you to be honest, Sensei," Mikey said, staring into his father's eyes.

"It was difficult at first; I raised you all as my sons, and that made you brothers. The thought of a relationship with your brother was difficult to believe and bear, but… parents must always offer support to their children. What we do or say in such a delicate situation will forever affect the way they see us. With this in mind, I permitted it. And I believe it was for the better. You've been a positive influence on Raphael's behavior ever since the two of you began dating. I noticed this change before you told us officially, Michelangelo. I am also proud that you made the decision to preserve yourselves until you were joined. That was very mature of you, my son," Splinter said.

"So… you're not… disappointed or anything?" Mikey asked.

"Michelangelo, is something the matter? Has something happened between you and Raphael?" Splinter asked back.

"N-no, no! I just… well, I was just curious, I guess," Mikey said, stuttering.

"I sense something troubling you, my son," Splinter tried again, concern in his eyes. Indeed Michelangelo had something on his mind.

"I'm okay, Sensei. Really!" Mikey insisted with a grin, hoping to reassure his worried father. Splinter sighed.

"Very well, but if ever you need some to talk to about something… you can tell me, Michelangelo," Splinter said softly.

"Thanks, Sensei," Mikey said, bowing and leaving the room… almost.

"Um… Sensei?" Mikey said, entering his Master's room again. Splinter raised his head in curiosity.

"What if… Leo- you know… if he… if he was the one who told you he had a relationship? Would you… accept it?" Mikey asked sheepishly.

"I would, my son. But with Leonardo things are different; being the leader of this team bestows more responsibilities. Do you recall when we were all badly injured after our battle with the Shredder? And he blamed himself for that?" Splinter asked, remembering the incident and aftermath quite well.

"Yeah, he was all moody and angry and… Well, he never forgave himself, even though it wasn't his fault," Mikey answered with a heavy sigh as that dark phase in Leo's life came back to him.

"If the one he loves gets injured in battle due to distraction, or if he was simply unable to save his partner in time… Leonardo would never be the same. He would suffer, Michelangelo," Splinter explained.

"But… love isn't a distraction, Master!" Mikey replied.

"I am very aware of that, my son. However, love could be as beautiful as it is painful sometimes. Is that what is troubling you, my son?" Splinter asked.

"No, Master. Like I said… I was curious, that's all! I… I'd better go to bed. Training was exhausting! Night, Sensei!" Mikey said, leaving the room at last.

"Sleep well, my son," said Splinter, though no one could hear him.

The orange masked ninja made his way to his room, which he now shared with Raph. He slumped in his bed and curled up into a ball, hugging his pillow. Mikey repeated Don's and Splinter's words in his mind. The both of them seemed to agree on almost on everything. Leo was the leader. Having a relationship wouldn't necessary distract him, but could hurt him if his mate was hurt… or worse. Mikey knew that was true, Leo's overprotective nature would make him blame himself if something happened to his mate (assuming he had one), or the rest of his family.

Mikey knew Don loved Leo with the same intensity he loved Raph… maybe more. The orange-masked ninja understood his genius brother. When Raph told Mikey they had to take some time away from each other because they'd been discovered, he felt his heart breaking into pieces. Mikey couldn't live without Raph anymore. He needed his mate. That's why Mikey knew how Don was feeling right now. The purpled-masked ninja _needed_ Leo.

Mikey couldn't stop the little tears rolling down his cheek. This was unfair. He hated seeing Don like that… suffering. Unable to help.

"In bed already, Sweetie?" Raph asked when he entered the room, surprised that his younger mate had gone to sleep so early.

"Hi, Raphie," Mikey said, not leaving his curled position.

"Ya ok?" Raph asked, slightly concerned as he sat in the bed beside Mikey.

"I'm… I'm alrgiht…" Mikey answered, hugging his mate and resting his watery face on Raph's chest.

"Why're ya cryin'?" Mikey's tears unsettles Raph as he wiped his mate's cheek.

"Donnie was right. Even Sensei says having a relationship would affect Leo's life…" Mikey said sadly.

"He said that?" Raph asked, surprised.

"He said that Leo's the leader. He has more responsibilities… It's not fair!" Mikey cried again, feeling the tears come back.

"Ssh, easy Mikey. Life ain't always fair," Raph soothed Mikey.

"I know Donnie's suffering, Raphie. I can feel it!" Mikey sobbed.

"Since when did ya became a soul reader?" Raph chuckled. Mikey lifted his gaze tp tel his mate he wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"Hey, he'll be okay. We promised to help him and that's just what we're gonna do, got it?" Raph said before leaning in and kising Mikey tenderly. End of discussion.

* * *

Meanwhile, Leo meditated in his room. The blue masked ninja tried to focus, but his thoughts took him to his genius brother. What was troubling Don so much? Was it something Leo did or said? Was Don sick? Sure he had told them it was just a "phase" but… how long was this "phase" going to affect his genius brother? More importantly, was he telling the truth? Leo stood up and went to Don's room. He needed answers… now.

* * *

I'm so bored! I've checked over the security systems over ten times, I've read all my books… twice, there's nothing worth watching on the internet right now… I sighed. It would probably be better go to sleep. Well, _try, _at least. In the last three weeks, even the _sleeping_ _pills_ weren't good enough with _my_ sleeping problem. Maybe _this_ is the terrible thing Renet tried to warn me about/ Terrible insomnia! Hahahaha! I yawned… I was starting to feel kinda… I yawned again… sleepy… I threw myself onto my bed, flipping off my light switch. Best to nab z's when I can!

"Donnie?" Leo knocked softly.

Ah, shell! When I _finally_ get some sleep Leo comes… Eeek! LEO!

"Donnie, I need to talk to you," Leo insisted. "Can you let me in?"

Shell, shell, shell! Not now! Hmmm… I wonder if…

* * *

Don started making fake snoring sounds, as loudly as possible.

"Hmm… he never snores _that_ loudly when he sleeps," Leo thought suspiciously. He was about to leave when… an idea popped into his mind.

"Ok… seems like Donnie is asleep already, so… I'd better leave…" Leo said, his voice fading as he walked away.

* * *

Phew! I think it worked. I hate lying to him, but… I just _can't_ let him know! Well, there goes my last attempt to get a decent sleep. I… I think I need some fresh air. On the rooftops.

Grabbing took my bo-staff and opening the door, I made sure my door wouldn't make a sound as I walked down the hall. I walked as stealthily as I could, making my way downstairs… unaware of certain blue masked ninja seeing everything in the shadows.

* * *

"What's Donnie up to?" Leo muttered to himself as followed Don.

Some minutes later, Don jumped and ran through the rooftops of New York; something that he hadn't done for the last three weeks. He stopped atop one of the rooftops, catching his breath.

* * *

Man, I missed this! The cold air on my face, the sound of the cars in the streets, the night lights… this is just…

The sound of footsteps made me freeze. I ran and hid behind a brick wall… Leo had followed me.

"… perfect" I finished, sighing.

"Donnie? Donnie, it's me… Leo." Duh! I know it's you, Leo. I'm looking straight at you!

"I know you're here, Don. Why are you hiding?" Please, go! Leave me alone!

"Listen… I'm worried about you, Donnie. I don't know what's happening to you and… I just want to help you." I remained in silence as I listened to my brother's words. I'm sorry Leo…

"You know you can trust me, Don. Whatever it-" The sound of a familiar blade made him stop and turn around… The Foot. Seems like I wasn't the only one who'd been followed.

"Ah, shell... not now!" Leo growled, pulling out his katanas.

* * *

In the lair, Raph and Mikey had left their room and were now relaxed in the couch watching a movie. Suddenly, a blue light flashed, making them jump up and take their battling pose, pulling their weapons out… ready for anything. A familiar feminine silhouette came out from the strange light.

"Where _is_ he? Is in his room? Tell me he's okay!" Renet yelled desperately, looking around franctically.

"Renet?" Mikey asked in surprise.

"Hold it right there, Time-girl. What da _shell_ are ya talkin' about?" Raph asked, crossing his arms.

"Where is Donatello?" Renet asked, fear flashing in her eyes.

"In his room, I guess," Mikey answered. He'd been in there all day everyday for the last few weeks…

"I'll go 'n check him," Raph said before he left the living room. Renet may be crazy, but if there was a chance that one of his brothers was in trouble… Raph had to know.

"Oh please, I hope he's ok!" Renet mumbled, nervously pacing from left to right.

"But Renet, what's wrong?" Mikey asked insistently. Renet's off behavior was starting to freak him out. He could _feel _her worry.

"He's not here!" Raph called from upstairs.

"WHAT?" Renet's eyes opened wide in horror.

"And neither is Leo," Raph added, running downstairs.

"Renet, what's going on?" Mikey asked again, more demanding. She knew something.

"First, answer me this: Has Don told Leo?" Renet asked, crossing her fingers and begging with her eyes.

"If yer talkin' about da genius' feelin's, then no," Raph answered, landing in the living room once more.

"NO! THIS IS THE DAY! No, no, no…. I should've come earlier! Stupid thing!" Renet said, throwing the Time Scepter in the couch.

"Are ya gonna tell us what's wrong here or what?" Raph asked angrily. What the shell was going on?

"Don is in terrible danger!" Renet said.

"WHAT?" both turtles yelled in shock.

"Something _really_ bad is gonna happen. Something, like, horrible!" Renet continued.

"Ya can tell us the rest in da way, girl, 'cause we're movin'! Mikey, grab the tracking thingy," Raph said. Mikey got the tracker device from the lab and the three of them left the lair in a rush.

"Renet, are you sure this _terrible thing_ you're talking about can't be changed?" Mikey asked, hopeful.

"I'm afraid it's not possible, Mikey. I tried to see if Don's future could be changed but… the Time Scepter wouldn't show me more! I could only see a few images and trust me… they weren't nice. I just hope we find him in time…" Renet said as she worked to keep up with Mikey and Raph.

* * *

Back on the rooftops, Leo and Don were no longer on the same roof; the Foot had pushed him away as they chased and attacked the blue masked ninja. Don tried to follow them, but some ninjas stopped him. He growled, running at them bo-raised. Easy pickings.

Once the bojutsu master defeated them, he followed the blood tracks left by some injured ninja… or maybe Leo. Nothing mattered now other than Don had to help Leo, and quickly! More ninjas were coming… an ambush!

* * *

The Foot, the Foot… why now? Stupid ninjas… don't they ever get tired of chasing us around? Not the time, Don. You have to find Leo… if these blood tracks are from _him_… shell, I'd never forgive myself for getting him hurt again! This is just like that night! Come on, Leo! Where _are_ you?

* * *

Leo, on the other hand, was having more problems with the ninja. He was fighting off at least three times as many. And the blue masked ninja was getting tired. Following his brother across the city had made him waste precious energy that was much needed now. And there he was, fighting alone… or at least, that's what he thought before a familiar battle cry joined the scene.

"Donnie!" Leo yelled happily.

"Sorry for the delay! Traffic problems," Don smirked.

"Doesn't matter now. I'm glad you're here," Leo said dodging a katana and retaliating.

The ninjas started to withdraw one by one as the turtles thinned them out, but there still a lot of them. Unfortunately, Leo's strength was abandoning him as the exhausting battle wore on. If only he hadn't been training all day… A ninja noticed this and made a long cut on Leo's arm. It was bleeding pretty badly, which could only mean it was deeper than the simple surface wound it appeared to be.

"Leo!" Don yelled, rushing to his brother's side.

"Keep fighting!" Leo ordered, taking his position again.

"But…" Don tried to talk but Leo interrupted him abruptly.

"I said KEEP FIGHTING!" Leo yelled. Don did what he commanded, but was no less worried about Leo. Especially with the vigorous fighting and muscle strain Leo was having to endure.

* * *

"I found Don's shell-cell signal! They're a couple of blocks away!" Mikey said, pointing in the direction his brothers lie.

"C'mon, we're almost there… so close, so close…" Renet mumbled, praying they'd be fast enough.

* * *

Shell! I don't know how much longer we can keep it up! Leo's wound in bleeding badly. Shell, this is my fault! If I hadn't led Leo on a wild goose chase through New York… even if I didn't know it… we would all be fine! I should have stayed in the lair!

"Don, duck!" I heard Leo yelling. A ninja was coming in my direction, katanas raised for decapitation! I dodged the attack just in time. I would keep my head another day.

"Phew! That was close!" I panted and kept fighting.

"Just a little closer…!" Renet said. She could already hear the sound of clashing blades.

Luckily, the last of the ninjas ran away. And just in time, too. Leo and I were totally exhausted now. One more ninja and I swear I'd have collapsed!

"Heh! For a minute there, I thought we were turtle soup but… good job, Don," Leo chuckled, turning around to retrieve his katana.

I went to pick up my bo, but as I lifted my gaze, I managed to spot one last foot ninja with something shiney… SHELL! IT'S AN ARROW! And it's pointing in LEO'S direction! I have to do something!

"LEO! WATCH OUT!" I yelled.

Then, a sharp pain in my chest… the world is spinning around… my mouth tastes like… copper. I feel some pressure in the place the arrow is plunged. Leo's trying to stop the bleeding.

I'm starting to feel dizzy; I can't help but cough… blood. My vision is blurry. I can make out some tears on Leo's face. This is definitely my fault. I've hurt him again. Even when I tried to save him.

"Donnie, please… stay with me!" Leo yelled desperately trying to stop the bleeding. I'm horrible.

"T-try…ing…" I mumbled. I don't deserve him.

My body is trembling; I know I'm not going to make it. I guess he knows it too. At least he's safe… I saved him. They can get along without me. They need him. I sputter.

I'm drowning in my own blood… I can't breathe… I'm gonna die. I guess… this is the moment… not exactly how I wanted it to be, but… I can't leave without telling him. I manage to sit up. It hurts a lot. I feel him hugging me. His face is wet but still warm. Or maybe I'm just cold. I return the embrace, I'm crying, too.

This isn't what I wanted. Not at all. Why'd I leave? Why I didn't stay in the lair? Why didn't I let Leo to talk to me, when the opportunity was still there? I break the hug and place my hand on Leo's cheek, wiping a few tears… there're no turning back now.

"Leo…"

"Donnie, please. Don't leave me!" Leo pleaded, sobbing again as he cradled me.

"L-Leo… I…"

My body is shaking. I'm getting cold. My time is coming… I never thought… I'd be this calm when it happened. Please Leo, don't hate me for this. I press my cold and bloody lips to his… a bittersweet kiss… my first kiss… my last kiss. I feel him tensing… I don't care now.

"I…l-love… y-you…" My world turns black. I close my eyes… forever.

* * *

Don's body went limp in Leo's arms. The latter stared at him feeling mixed emotion: sadness, horror, confusion, pain. Leo's tears rolled down, slowly mixing with Don's blood. The taste of the blood on his lips, the image of Don's cold lips sharing a cold kiss… his voice telling him he loved him… his dark chocolate eyes closing… it was too much for the blue masked ninja. Leo closed his eyes and buried his face in Don's neck, crying… sobbing. The sound of voices yelling his name made him open his eyes and turn enough to stare at his two brothers and the Time Scepter Mistress.

"No! We're late… too late!" Renet gasped, putting her hand over mouth and breaking into tears.

The future was now the present: a sad and painful present. Donatello… was no more ...

* * *

*sobbing* A-anyway... p-please review... *sniff* Angel. I'd b-be happy to write something f-for you. Can you email me? We can discuss it. I'll need to know a bit more about you or what you're looking for in a story. Thank you to everyone who's been reading/reviewing regularly. We love you all!

This would have been up yesterday, but I was at a math competition. Guess what? We won first place! ^ ^ Still super happy about that. High fives, anyone?


	12. Chapter 11

H-here it is, all the people who want to kill me. E-enjoy!

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning! Turtlecest! LeoxDon, MikexRaph

Disclaimer! We do not own turtles. We are not Nickelodeon. Nor are they us, much as they'd like to be. ^ ^

* * *

…He lay, clearly dead, in his brother's arms.

Except… he wasn't.

* * *

Shell, everything hurts! But it doesn't… Why am I feeling so light? Why is everything so dark? Am I dead already? I only remember a sharp pain in my chest and… Leo crying for me. Wait… Leo! Ah, shell! I had _better_ be dead, I _told_ him! And as if that wasn't enough… I KISSED HIM! Again: I'd. Better. Be. _Dead_! Uh-oh… I'm… feeling dizzy… I think I… shell, my body feels so cold! Probably from blood loss… I can hear some voices… and sobs. I hate seeing… _hearing_ my brothers so hurt. It's all my… fau…lt… m-my… feeling… tired…

* * *

The arrow hit him like a brick, but luckily it hadn't gone into his heart. Don could feel the blood trickling down his skin; he felt himself go limp, completely and utterly incapable of movement. It was worse than he could have ever imagined, worse than any nightmare. He couldn't do anything. He felt too weak and tired now. Even as he closed his eyes, he could still hear his brothers' screams… and Leo, _his_ Leo…crying desperately.

"Donnie..." Mikey sobbed, burying his face on his mate's shoulder.

"I tried to tell him. I-I tried to prevent this… I told him it was gonna happen! I should have insisted…it's all my fault…" Renet cried.

Leo could only hold Don's body closer to his chest as his tears mixed with blood, his brother's blood. The memories of the last few minutes of Don's life flew back to his mind. He could see the moment when Don ran in front of him, receiving the arrow that was supposed to be his. He still could see the small and sad smile on his genius brother's face… and his last words; his last words were still resounding on his head.

"It's not yer fault, Renet," Raph said sadly as he tried to comfort a Mikey who was crying desperately.

"R-Raph is right. It's not your fault… it's mine," Leo sobbed.

"Leo, don't…" Renet tried to stop him, but he continued talking.

"I was so stupid… so blind… how could I never notice it? I'm so sorry, Donnie," Leo said, resting his head on Don's neck. But then…

"I… think I felt a pulse! On his neck!" Leo said suddenly, feeling around until he found a weak, but still existing beat. The others stared at him in shock and disbelief.

"Guys, call Leatherhead! We still can save him!" Leo said, hope pouring from his voice. Raph quickly pulled out his shell-cell and dialed the croc's number.

"But… he was supposed to- the future…" Renet mumbled, confused.

"…is gonna change, Renet. I'm not going to let my brother down," Leo interrupted her, lifting Don's body bridesmaid style.

"You'll be okay, Donnie. I promise," Leo whispered in Don's ear as he ran home.

* * *

The guys took the half dead Don to the lair where Leatherhead was able to take out the arrow without damaging his heart. Gingerly, the croc picked up a large hypodermic needle and attached it to a piece of machinery underneath the surgical trolley. A button, switch-flick, and two seconds later, blood was drawn up from Leo's arm into the machine and then cycled into the olive turtle lying unconscious on the table. Leo gave three pints of blood. But after giving so much, the blue-masked turtle shivered a little, finding it difficult to fight the dizziness overtaking him. The others helped him to lie down in the lab's bed where he could rest.

Two days had passed since the incident, and Don didn't show any signs of returning to consciousness. But at least they knew he was alive. Leo never left Don's side during the recovery process. He hardly ever slept now.

"Leo, _please_ try to get some sleep. You _have _to! You're tired!" Mikey pleaded. Leo was sitting beside their unconscious genius brother, stroking his cold forehead.

"I can't, Mikey. I just can't…" Leo said sadly.

"LH told you Donnie would wake up in a few days," Mikey reminded him. Leo sighed heavily.

"How long, Mikey? How long did you know about Don… his… secret?" Leo asked, looking desolately up at Mikey.

"Since three weeks ago," Mikey said, lowering his head.

"Why wouldn't he tell me?" Leo asked, eyes traveling to Don.

"He was scared… afraid of your reaction, maybe. Well, we don't know the real reason," Mikey added.

"We? You too, Raph?" Leo glanced to his red-masked brother. He should have known… Raph nodded.

"He made us promise we wouldn't tell ya. I guess we shouldn't have kept that secret from ya, bro. It's our fault," Raph said sadly.

"It's not, Raph… really," Leo said, trying to take the guilt away from his brothers. The guilt was his.

Suddenly, he stopped caressing Don's face and got up, his body still a little weak from the transfusion.

"What do ya think yer doin'?" Raph asked in an alarmed tone.

"I need to talk to Sensei," Leo responded as he walked out of the lab.

"Are you… gonna tell him?" Mikey asked hesitantly.

"I must… though I'm still a little shocked myself," Leo replied.

"Ya sure ya can walk alright?" Raph asked, slightly concerned. He'd given blood before. It was no walk in the park.

"Yeah… I'm not feeling so dizzy now." With this, Leo left his brothers and made his way to his Master Splinter's room.

* * *

The blue-masked ninja wasn't sure how he was going to explain this to his father. Don had loved him in secret, just like Mikey loved Raph before they told the family about their relationship. But everything was different for them. They didn't have the responsibility of leaders… Leo, on the other hand, did. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door softly. Like he did every time.

"Master Splinter, may I speak with you?" Leo asked.

"Come in, my son," came Splinter's old voice. Leo entered, closing the door behind him and kneeling in front of his father.

"How is your brother?" the old rat asked in concern.

"He's still unconscious. Leatherhead told us he won't wake up until his body has fully recovered from the blood loss," Leo said. Normally an arrow wasn't a big problem. But this time, it had struck an artery, draining Donatello's blood at a dangerously fast rate. They were lucky to have stopped the bleeding in time.

"At least he is out of danger now," Splinter breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah," Leo muttered, lowering his gaze.

"What is the matter, Leonardo?" Splinter asked, worried now for his eldest son. He could feel that something was different with the blue-masked ninja.

"Sensei… I… you know I would never lie to you or keep secrets from you, right?" Leo asked, if somewhat sheepishly.

"Yes, my son. I know that quite well," Splinter said calmly, wondering where Leonardo was going with this.

"Well… the thing is… I found out what was affecting Donatello's behavior…" Leo said, still avoiding eye contact. Splinter's silence made the talk all the more difficult for Leo.

"He… he's…" The blue masked ninja had never felt so scared of talking with his sensei and father before, but this was a delicate topic. He was nervous. He was anxious. He was embarrassed. But he knew he needed to get this off his chest.

"Leonardo, what is it? What is wrong with Donatello?" Splinter asked, gently urging his son. Leo couldn't stand this anymore… he had to let it go.

"Sensei… Father… Don is… " Leo sighed. Here goes nothing. "He's in love with me," Leo said. He closed his eyes, feeling terribly ashamed. This was the hardest thing the blue-masked turtle had ever done in his life, Shredder and ninja-fights included. Those were second nature. But this? This was new, unfamiliar. Leo had never experienced anything even remotely similar to this. And he felt like he was stumbling around, blindly and clueless, for the first time in his life. Splinter didn't say a word so Leo continued talking.

"He told me just before he 'died.' Raph and Mikey knew about it, but… Don made them promise they would never tell me… That's why he was acting abnormal and moody… and clumsy," Leo added.

"I have to admit, your brother is a excellent at hiding his feelings, my son. I acknowledged his change in behavior, but I never noticed he was attracted to you," Splinter commented. He hadn't known it was centered on Leonardo, but then again, he had left Donatello to himself, as were his wishes. He regretted it now, not talking to him. Perhaps they could have prevented this misfortune. But one mustn't dwell on the past.

"Neither did I, Sensei. I wish he would have told me before, so… we could have talked about it," Leo sighed heavily.

"I agree. We will talk to your brother once he is awake, my son. For now, it is all we can do to wait," Splinter said.

"But how can I tell him that I don't want him the way he wants me without hurting him? I don't want to hurt him, Sensei. He's suffered enough!" Leo said, looking firmly into his father's eyes, seeking his guidance, much as he would when he was a child.

"Your brother is reasonable enough to understand that you do not wish to return his feelings, my son. To overcome your denial," Splinter replied. Knowing Donatello, Splinter wouldn't be surprised if he had anticipated it from the start.

"Sensei… I'm not accepting this, nor denying it. I really don't know if he could live with that… and I don't think I could either" Leo said, lowering his head once more.

"What do you mean, Leonardo?" Splinter asked in confusion.

"It's hard to say. I love Don… as a brother. But when he… the day he almost died, I had mixed emotions. When Don closed his eyes, I felt… I felt like… like a part of me died _with_ him. I felt so miserable, so scared that he would leave me forever! But then, when I felt his pulse again… I felt whole again; I wasn't going to lose him after all," Leo smiled, almost cheerfully. He didn't know if he'd feel the same for any of his brothers, or if this was particular to Donatello.

"My son… do you feel the same way as Donatello?"

"I… I don't know, Father. I'm so confused! And… I didn't tell you how exactly he told me," Leo said awkwardly.

"Do you wish to tell me?" Splinter asked, trying to sound friendly. Leo needed all his support on this matter, just like Raphael and Michelangelo had.

"It's… kinda embarrassing." Leo blushed a little.

"If you do not desire to… I will not pressure you, Leonardo," Splinter said.

"I-It's not that, Sensei! The thing is… he didn't only _confess_ his feelings towards me. Actually, he… expressed them. He… he kissed me, and he told me he loved me and… after that he went limp in my arms. But the strangest part of all of this: since that day, I-I keep seeing that memory every night. It's like I could actually feel it again… the coldness of his skin, his tears, hi-his blood… on his… lips…. Father, I'm really confused … and scared. I-I shouldn't be feeling this way!" Leo panicked with shame and fear on his voice. Splinter placed a comforting hand on his son's shoulder. Leonardo was trembling.

"Calm down, my son. I can see you have many doubts, many questions that need answers. But unfortunately I am not the one who can help you with them," the old rat said.

"But Sensei…" Leo met his master's gaze in surprise. He always trusted his problems and doubts to his father to be fixed. Why should this time be any different?

"Leonardo, as your father I will always support whatever you think is right for the family's sake. This decision is yours and only yours to make. I cannot advise you. However, it is not one you can make here. Your brother's condition is troubling you, and it will not help you to find the answers you seek," Splinter explained. Leo wiped his eyes, nodding solemnly.

"I understand, Sensei. When do you want me to leave?" Leo asked, knowing his father's words meant only one thing: a trip… a long, long trip, far away from home. Where he would be able to think clearly.

* * *

It was late at night when Leo had finally prepared everything for his trip to Japan, his favorite place on Earth. He wasn't taking much, but he needed to find a flight and get his plans straight. He loved Japan for many reasons, the foremost being the peace that place brought to Leo's mind and soul… and he definitely needed that peace now.

"So, how long are you leaving this time?" Mikey asked from where he was sprawled on the couch.

"Can't say," Leo answered.

"Can't say or won't say?" Raph asked bitterly. He hated it when Leo went on these trips. Even after Leo had explained to him why he felt it was necessary, Raph couldn't understand why Leo would leave Don at a time like this. He felt it was selfish.

"Raph, I honestly don't know how long I'm going to stay in Japan. Just until… until I figure out some things. But I'm not sure how long that'll take," Leo said, letting out a heavy sigh.

"I hope yer not plannin' anotha 2 year trip. Ya know that would affect Don, don't cha?" Raph said, referencing the training trip to Central America.

"I'm not going away for so long this time, _that's_ for sure. Take care and… well… you know the rest already," Leo said, making his way to the lair's entry.

"You're not gonna say bye to- you know… him?" Mikey asked, referring to Don.

"He won't be able to hear me anyway, so… why should I bother?" Leo asked simply. Raph stopped him.

"Hold it! Ya ain't goin' _anywhere_ 'til you go the genius' lab and say bye! I don't care if he can't listen to ya… Leo, ya always say bye to all of us, and I mean _all_ of us." It took all of Raph's self control to not yell at Leo at that moment.

"Alright, alright!" Leo said and went to his genius brother's lab, where he lied still connected to the IV.

"Hey Don… I don't know if you're listening, but… whatever. I'm going away for a few days… maybe weeks… or months. I'm not sure. I just need to clear my mind and, you know… think about… things. I hope you get better soon. I'll be back. See ya," Leo said.

That was the most awkward farewell he had ever bid to one of his brothers. He knew it was. But his mind was still in turmoil over the recent events. Even a simple "love ya, Bro" sounded weird now. After saying good-bye to his sensei, Leo left the lair… making his way to the pier and awaiting the next ship to Japan that was sure to come.

* * *

See? I couldn't kill DON! I love him too much! ^ ^ Review if you love and/or hate me!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! Let me see if I can find them... CrazyNutSquirrel, Angel (Honey, ff doesn't show email, you'll have to disguise it, like mine is saya_thecat (at) yahoo (dot)com... just email me, alright? We can talk), DonnieLover, artychick7, dondena, Halloween Witch, and The Mutant Rebel. Thanks for all the support! I love you all dearly!


	13. Chapter 12

Feast your eyes, my pretties! I present: the amazing, the wonderful, none other than LOVE ODYSSEY chapter TWELVE! 2.7k ^ ^ I'm happy today. I shouldn't be. I have three projects due tomorrow that I haven't started on. Maybe it's because I got three hours of sleep. That always makes me loopy.

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning! Turtlecest! LeoxDon, MikexRaph

Disclaimer! I don't own turtles. If that hasn't been made apparent enough by this point.

* * *

Japan at last. That trip was beginning to wear at my patience. I've never been so anxious to arrive here before… but I guess I have a strong reason. During the trip, I couldn't stop thinking about the recent events that shook my whole world.

I couldn't escape from these… well… _thoughts_. I tried meditating. I tried training for hours on end. I even started talking with myself! I know, I know. Sounds crazy. But I can't help feeling… strange. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react to what happened. But that's why I'm here. To figure things out.

It's been three weeks now. I'm not sure whether I should have this… _feeling…_ or not, but… I'm missing Donnie more than ever. I don't know if this has something to do with the… er… the fact that… Shell, what's wrong with me?

"_I'll tell you what's wrong with you," _came a voice in my head.

"Huh?"

"_You're trying to deny reality," _the voice continued.

"I… don't know what you're talking about," I said, unconvincingly. That wasn't true. I knew what he was talking about, but I wish I didn't. And I'm not in the mood for that kind of talk right now.

"_Sure… Keep denying… Be a coward." _That one stung. A coward? If there's one thing I pride myself in _not_ being, it's a coward! And yet I ran away to Japan…

"I'm not a coward!" I replied, heatedly.

"_Then why won't you accept what you're feeling?" _That struck a nerve.

"You don't understand what you're talking about! You don't know what I'm thinking!" I shot back.

"_Don't try to make a fool of me. I'm you, smart one! I know EXACTLY what YOU are thinking." _Of course. I'm talking to myself.

"Could you please leave me alone? I'm trying to think." And I was talking serious now.

"_Ah, shell. Here we go again… Stop lying to yourself! You know you're starting to feel…"_

"Nothing! I'm feeling nothing!" Get it yet, you psychotic fabrication?

"_Come on! It's not that bad... is it?" _What? Not that _bad_?

"Oh, you're right. It's not _that_ bad. I mean… my brother has only been _in love_ with mein secret, torturing himself all this time, and even _hurting_ himself at one point! Heck! He almost _died _for me!"

"_And, let me guess… you're blaming yourself for that, aren't you? *sigh* Typical Leonardo." _That hurt too.

"Of _course_ I'm blaming myself! It's _my_ fault! How _else _am I supposed to react, huh? I should have noticed, so I could've talked to him and… and…"

"_And… told him you didn't feel the same, just to could hurt him even more?" _Somehow… the voice was right on that one. Leo: 0 – Conscience: 1

"Don is a genius. I'm sure he would have understood my point. I think he was just… confused… you know, after Raph and Mikey got together. I mean… we're brothers after all…" But Raph and Mikey are brothers as well…

"_Knock-knock! News flash for you: Raph and Mikey are BROTHERS, too!"_ Well, yeah. I figured that out on my own.

"I know, but…"

"_But? But? So you've been pretending you accepted Raph and Mikey's relationship? You've been a hypocrite?" _ Hypocrite? Me?

"I _did_ accept them! They're my-"

"_Brothers! Exactly! So how is it any different with Don, huh?" _I hate to admit it but… score? Leo: 0 – Conscience: 2.

*sigh* "I can't believe it. I'm arguing with my "conscience". Now I know I'm insane." Well, three weeks with no one to talk to… Maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

"_Then why are you still talking and listening to me? Oh, but wait. You're NOT listening to me!"_

"You don't understand… Don and I… we've been like best friends since we were kids! Even though I didn't understand a thing he was talking about a lot of the time, I was always with him… helping him with his inventions, and…"

"_Other genius things."_

"Yeah… we hardly ever argue or fight. He's the most calm and pacifistic of the family, so it only makes sense. He… seems to be perfect… but…"

"_Not with the 'buts' again."_

"But… what he feels for me is just… not right." Isn't it?

"_Who says? And don't tell me your "moral" … because I'm not buying that." _Leo: 0 – Conscience: 3. Darn. I'm fighting a losing battle.

"How do you know?"

"_Like I said… I'm yourself. I know how you're really feeling. So stop and think for a second… Tell me what you and Don have in common."_ Hmm… let's see…

"Well, we both like to read. We're both obsessive with our work… You know, he and his lab, me and my katas. We listen to each other and respect what each other thinks… It seems like we're the only ones with a good head on our shoulders, out of the four of us." And it's true.

"_See? You two have so many things in common! Now, look at Raph and Mikey… they also complement each other, right?" _Leo: 0 – Conscience: 4. I hate when I'm right sometimes.

"Well… Raph gives Mikey the courage and strength that he needs, and Mikey… he's the only one who can make Raph smile and feel like a kid again." Seriously, Mikey is the _only_ one with that power. It's pretty irritating.

"_And Don?"_

"Well, I give him confidence and guidance…"

"_And he gives you peace and knowledge. Now do you understand my point-er, your point?"_

"So what if we have good chemistry? That doesn't make us a… well… er… couple." That sounded awkward.

"_Tsk… right. Then why can't you stop thinking of that night, huh? The night he almost died… for you?" _Here comes the guilt again.

"How _do_ you expect me to stop thinking about it? My brother almost _died_ in my _arms_! How do I stop having _nightmares_ after almost losing the brother I care for the most forever? And all because I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings? That arrow was for me! Should've hit me… It would be better that way. If I had died that night." And I _mean_ died… for real.

"_Whoa! Take it easy, Pal. I don't know about you, but I DO want to live. Why on Earth are you saying such crazy things?"_

"Because… the dead don't have to deal with this pain, this confusion… this… fear." Heh, guess like I'm not such a 'Great Fearless Leader' after all… Scared of love… I _am_ a coward!

"_You're… scared? Scared what the people would say? Scared of The Great Leonardo finding out that he loves his best friend and brother in more than a friendly wau? Scared of loving Don?" _Leo: 0 – Conscience: 5. Okay, I think I've had enough for today.

"Please, leave me alone."

"_Oh no, I'm not leaving… You need to let it out!"_

"Leave me alone."

"_Loving someone isn't wrong! Especially if that someone loves you back. If they're the greatest person in the world." _This 'match' is over and he's _still_ winning!

"I said LEAVE ME ALONE!" I was angry. Why was I so stubborn? Couldn't I take a hint?

"_Fine… you can lie to me, you can lie to yourself, but you can't hide the sun with two fingers, Leonardo. You know you feel the same toward Don as he does toward you. But go ahead. Hide as long as you want here in your beloved Japan. You've rejected reality before, so what makes this time any different?" _Score for my Conscience… again.

* * *

Dou sureba ii ka wakaranai… that's the only way I can properly express what I'm feeling at present. It's getting dark… night is soon forthcoming… but I know I won't be getting any sleep tonight. The nightmares will come, haunting me again, stealing from me my sanity.

I guess the best solution is to find a distraction. Something to keep my mind busy, and the night terrors at bay. Maybe if I look at the sky…

...

The stars are so beautiful here. You can never see a sky like this in New York… With all the city lights and smoke, it's almost impossible to find this… peace. Hmm, New York… I'm starting to miss that chaotically wonderful city, in its glory. And all the people I know who live there. My friends, my family… my father, my brothers… Don.

Would he be awake already? Would he be ok? Would he be regretting his confession right now? Would he be thinking I left because of him? I don't want him to think that way; that would only hurt him more. He's suffered enough.

Shell, I just realized I've been thinking of Donnie all this time… The whole three weeks! The more I try to forget him, the more I can't get him out of my head.

Is this how Don has been feeling? Every day he was in love with me? If it's so, then… my poor brother. _My_ head hurts, and it's been just three weeks! Imagine trying to mask the pain for months! Holly shell… he's tougher than I thought! He's no Raph, but his mental capabilities are astounding. I don't know if I could have done the same. I'm going crazy as it is…

Come to think of it, perhaps I _did_ notice the signals… Maybe I was just in denial all this time… because of Raph and Mikey's involvement. I mean, when they told us about their… relationship… well… it was kinda hard to swallow, so to speak. But then I noticed the changes between them. And they were definitely for better.

Before _and_ after they got married, there was… something special. Like a sparkle between them, that makes them shine wherever they go. I realize that sounded corny, but it's true.

I have to admit… I was a little jealous. I wanted to feel the same way they could. I wanted to experiment on my own. See how it felt… to be loved… But I never expected Don to love me. He's always so absorbed in his machinery and inventions… Who would have guessed that that genius mind of his was hiding a shy, in-love turtle just beneath the surface? Actually, it's kind of cute to see- wait… did I just say…?

"_Yeah, you did." _Shell, his smug voice is the _last _thing I want to hear right now!

"I told you to leave me alone." Darn conscience.

" _Aw, you were thinking Donnie is cute!"_

"Well… er…" Now, I'm speechless. What do you say to that? We both heard it.

"_Admit it. You're feeling the same way he has all this time."_

"I didn't… I mean… I…" When did I forget how to talk?

"_Sign One: nervousness… Well actually, that would be sign two. The first one was denial."_

"Shut it! I didn't say anything!"

"_Come on. Is it that bad to… wait a sec… is that what I think it is?"_

"What? I don't know what you're talking about…" Wait. My face… is heating up?

"_Hahahaha! You're blushing!"_

"What?" Seriously… what? ME, _blushing_?

"_You could say that proves it all!"_

"No! That doesn't prove anything…"

"…_Yet." _Huh?

"Yet?"

"_Come on, Leo… surely you can tell me… your always loyal conscience?"_

"Mmm… loyal? I think the word annoying is a better fit? I had no clue my conscience was so Mikey-like." Or maybe this is Mikey's conscience?

"_Hahaha! You're upset because I'm funnier than you… and more sincere as well!" _Yep, definitely Mikey's conscience.

"_And no… I'm not Mikey's conscience because you're not Mikey. Even HE'S more sincere to his sense of right and wrong than you are with yours."_

"And I suppose that's the reason he's married and I'm not?" I replied sarcastically.

"_You got that right, lover boy." _Lover boy? What the shell?

"I'm _not_…"

"_Yes you are."_

"No, I'm NOT!"

"_You are," insisted my stupid conscience._

"Shell, you're annoying!" He really is… wait… that means I'm really this annoying, doesn't it? No wonder Raph gets so mad at me sometimes.

"_Thank you." _Gah! And he _thanks_ me?

"Grrrr!" That's it… I'm done with this craziness. Any longer and I'll drive myself to permanent impairment.

"_What do you expect to do? You can't escape from me!"_

"Yes I can!" I can try.

"_Oh? And how exactly do you think you're going to do that, Wise Guy?"_ I think I have _just_ the solution. "Hmm… it's a beautiful night for a swim… don't you think?"

"_Oh no, you wouldn't-" _That was the last time I heard from annoying conscience… at least for today.

* * *

At least my conscience can't talk to me underwater… when I'm almost out of air in my lungs. Forget thinking, it's difficult enough trying not to drown; with these long periods I'm spending airless! I just need to think… _alone_.

* * *

After two hours of swimming, my body feels tired. My eyes are starting to close… which is good. Maybe now I'll have a decent sleep… if I'm lucky. I'm still thinking about Donnie… Oh, li'l bro… why did you have to do this to me? Making me choose between our friendship/brotherhood and a possible… relationship? Heh, you're so mean, Don. Whatever my decision… I still have a few more days to find all my answers.

Sleep well, Donnie… I miss you.

* * *

Sooo? What do you think? Be honest, now. Leo arguing with his conscience is HILARIOUS! And thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. That means you Kate Maxwell, CrazyNutSquirrel, atrychick7, milkywaymidnight, kitfox12, Halloween Witch, Angel, DonnieLover, and dondena. And to everyone else who read it, thank you as well! I know you're out there. ^ ^


	14. Chapter 13

I know, I know. I told some of you Saturday. But it's Sunday. Computer trouble, I'm sorry. But here it is! 1.5k This is DONNIE'S side. ^ ^ Enjoy!

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me

Warning! Turtlecest! (If you don't know that by this chapter...) LeoxDon, RaphxMike

**

* * *

Don's POV**

I woke up about two weeks after the incident feeling sore, dizzy, weak, and unable to stand up on my own. The arrow didn't kill me, but I felt dead already.

Why? Because when I woke up… he wasn't here. He wasn't beside me like he used to when I got injured. I only saw Raph, Mikey and Master Splinter.

But him. Where was he? Was he in his room? Training? Meditating? Maybe asleep from taking care of me the whole night? No. Sensei told me what I needed to know.

He left to Japan. And I knew what that meant: he wasn't coming back for a long, long time. The guys told me he said good-bye before he left, but I can't remember when he did… or what exactly he said. Maybe I just couldn't hear him, because I was unconscious.

Or maybe he just left without saying farewell.

I don't blame him if he didn't say good-bye to me. How could I, considering what happened? How can I expect him to act normal around me when I've confessed my very deepest secret?

The others accepted me. Even Splinter. But… what's the point of being accepted by your family when you aren't accepted by the one you love?

Stupid me. How could I have told him?

Stupid me. How could I have let it go?

Stupid me. How could I have been such an _idiot_?

I've lost him!

I've lost him as a friend.

I've lost him as a brother.

I've lost him as… my love. I don't have the right to love him now.

They say he's coming back but… I have my doubts. It's been a month since he left, and I know it's all my fault. I knew very well this could happen if I told him. I shouldn't have.

My family is trying to help me, to cheer me up, telling me to be positive.

But I've just lost all hope.

I give up.

I surrender.

I know, I know. Words of a coward… but what else can I do? Even _if_ he comes back… our life will NOT be normal! How am I supposed to talk to him again? How am I supposed to BEAR being around him again?

I was already a mess, even before he knew about my attraction to him.. Now that he DOES know… it'll be even worse.

I couldn't touch him without feeling awkward

I couldn't be near him without being clumsy.

I couldn't talk to him without stuttering.

I couldn't see him without blushing.

I couldn't tell him I love him… even in a brotherly way… without meaning I loved him in the way I'm dying to be loved back.

Life has been impossible now that he's gone. Raph and Mikey seem so happy, and that's torturing me, killing me, ripping me from the inside out. It hurts. It hurts worse than anything else possibly could in this world. But I can't blame them; they deserve to be happy. They don't deserve to share in my suffering.

When they're near, I pretend everything is ok. Telling them I still believe he'll come back soon, I lie to them with my forced smile and my false positivism.

Only when I'm alone, I can let out all that repressed pain. I can cry. I cry until I fall asleep… until I'm so tired that I can't even dream, so I don't dream of that night… let alone hope for the day he comes back… If… he comes back.

April is the only one who knows my real suffering. She can see through my act, and she's been like a big sister… like a mother to me. She says love hurts sometimes, but we have to learn to deal with it… How can I deal with this pain? It's just too much!

The days pass that I'm here without you by my side. Every morning, I make an attempt… trying to forget you, forget everything… but nothing works. The memories hit me right in the soul every time I say your name; like a furtive hunter are chasing me in my loneliness.

And when I think I've finally forgotten you and I can keep going on my own… your memory appears again from nowhere and I feel like a "nobody" again. Worthless.

Someone, please tell me: How can I forget? How can I tear out forever the love from my aching soul? Somebody, help. Please! It's unbearable!

I'm looking desperately… for someone who can heal my broken heart. Anyone!

But I know no one can help me with this. The more they try the more they'll fail, and this agony will worsen… I just know.

You're the only one who can save me from the darkness where I'm drowning.

You're the only one who can make me believe in love again.

Yes, you, the one who hurt me.

You, the one I need.

You, the one I protected.

You, the one for whom I died.

You, the one for whom I live.

You, the one who has my heart.

You, the one I'll always admire.

You, the one I'll always respect.

You, the one I'll always love.

You, my leader.

You, my best friend.

You, my brother.

You, my soul.

You, the love of my life.

Two months now… two months. You're not here. No letters, no calls. But somehow… I know you'll come back. You'd never leave us like that. And maybe… if you don't love me like I want... we could try to be friends again.

I promise not to feel awkward when I touch you.

I promise not to be clumsy when I'm around you.

I promise not to stutter when I talk to you.

I promise not to blush when I see you.

I promise I'll just forget all this happened, so we can start over again… even if it hurts me… even if it kills me… Just come back. Please, come back. We miss you. We need you here. We need our leader… We need our brother. We need your guidance and confidence, your advice and… yes, even your lectures. Raph and Mikey haven't lost hope. Our friends and our father haven't lost hope either. They know you'll come back with your answer, but truthfully, that's the part that scares me. Your answer. Your final decision. Your yes or no.

Now I'm standing here… on our favorite roof. The roof we found many years ago on one of our patrol nights. The roof that has the most beautiful view of the moon in the city. We used to come here to talk, just you and me… You talked about your katas, me… about my inventions. Thinking back, I suppose I just bored you, but still… you listened to me. That was something no one else bothered to do. I miss those days.

I miss you… Leo.

* * *

So that's that! ): Poor Donnie. He's dying. Dumb ol' Leo. If I get enough reviews, I'll make Leo come back. So have at it! ^^

And thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chappy. Let's see who that was... Angel, artychick7, CrazyNutSquirrel, Kate Maxwell, Halloween Witch, milkywaymidnight, and DonnieLover. I love you all so much! ^ ^

Oh, and thank you to lame, BegaKalaLatoya, and Peter Laird Says for voicing their opinion. I won't hold that against them. To each his own, right? :D


	15. Chapter 14

I bet you're all PO'd at me for taking so long. I'm sorry. The truth is, I got REALLY sick. I've missed a week of school, and I'm still not better. I feel like shell, but I didn't want to keep you waiting. So I decided to post this before I rolled back into bed. So here's the finale. Read it and be satisfied and don't hurt me.

Disclaimer: TMNT is NOT ours. Yeah, nothing witty this time. Just the truth.

Warning: T-Cest LeoxDon, RaphxMike

Co-written with Who am I. Well. I'm just Me. Who, for the FIRST TIME, has some words to say at the beginning of this chapter! Everyone give her a round of applause! Go Who! My sister and mother in spirit. ^ ^

* * *

Co-writer's words: *sniff* The last chapter of this amazing and beautiful LOVE ODYSSEY! I wanna thank all the readers who followed this story, for all your reviews and good wishes. To those who didn't like it... not our fault ^^

If you loved this fic, stay in touch for the incoming sequel!

With Love:

Who

* * *

"What's taking him so long? It's been two months!" Raph yelled angrily as he paced impatiently back and forth.

"Relax, Raph. He just needs time to think things through," Mikey said, clearly not confident in his words. Somehow, Raph was right. Leo had left for too long.

"Well I say he's had long enough!" Raph shot back.

"It's not that easy! You know how Leo gets when he has a problem; it could take him a lifetime to solve it," Mikey tried to explain.

"A _problem_? Since when is _loving someone_ a _problem_?" Raph asked in an exasperated tone.

"Could you stop yelling, for shell's sake? You're gonna wake up the others!" Mikey said angrily.

"I don't get it. Why'd he have to leave for so long? He hasn't written _or_ called, and ya _know_ Donnie's not taking this so good. It's a miracle he hasn't killed-" Raph commented when Mikey interrupted him abruptly.

"Raph! Don't say that!"

"Ok, ok… forget what I said," Raph sighed, sitting heavily on the couch beside Mikey.

"We're all worried, Raphie. But you know he'll come back," Mikey said in a calming voice.

"Yeah, but… that ain't what I'm worried about. What scares me is his decision," Raph admitted.

"I know. Let's hope he makes the right one… for Donnie's sake," Mikey added, leaning into his husband's shoulder.

* * *

I can't stand being here. Everything reminds me of him. I know Raph and Mikey are talking about him and it hurts. Every time I hear about him, it hurts. I'd better go outside again. Clear my head. There's going to be a full moon tonight… that's kinda relaxing. But Sensei won't let me go out. It's 11:10 pm, and that streets can be dangerous at this time. It's not that I don't know how to defend myself. I mean, I'm a ninja! Duh. But that doesn't make very big of a difference when you find yourself surrounded by Foot ninjas or a bunch of well-armed Purple Dragons… and you're stuck having to face them all on your own. Raph may be the master of going out without Splinter's knowledge, but that doesn't mean I'm an amateur on that kind of thing. I can go out undetected when I want to, no prob. _I_ designed the security systems, the front entrance, and… the secret tunnels. Hehe, I love being a genius.

* * *

It was almost midnight when Leonardo arrived home. Everyone in the lair was asleep… except for a certain old rat who knew his son was coming home that night. Though the others never received any information about their brother, Splinter had been receiving his son's letters secretly during the whole two months. The old rat sensed the lair entrance opening and closing slowly, quietly. There was only one turtle who could be _that_ stealthy. Splinter felt the quiet footsteps coming closer to his room.

"Come in, Leonardo," Splinter said once he saw his son's shadow outlined on his room's shoji door. Leo entered his sensei's room. After a respectful bow, he knelt on the floor in front of his father.

"It has been two months since you left, my son. You went to Japan to think about something that was bothering you, to find the solution to a problem, to find the answers to your questions," Splinter said. Leo remained in silence.

"You must know that whichever path you chose, I will support your decision. You are my son, and I will be here for you, as will your brothers as well. Now, Leonardo… I must know: have you made your decision?" Splinter asked.

"Yes, Sensei. I've made my decision… and I know it is the correct one… for the family's sake," Leo answered solemnly.

* * *

Midnight… it's freezing cold out here. Well… I've had worse. Maybe it's because I'm cold blooded. Maybe not. But nothing matters now. The view of this full moon is worth it. Makes me forget everything… well… not _everything_. I remember how I used to come here when I was depressed or sad, and… one day Leo followed me all the way here and talked to me till it was really late. _Way_ past curfew. He helped me feel good again. Shell, I'm thinking of him _again_! Why my mind can't get rid of him?

I felt something roll down my cheek… aw great. Now I'm crying. Tsk… pathetic. I pulled my knees up. I'm pathetic.

"I knew I'd find you here," a familiar voice sounded behind me.

I must be crazy… could it be… him? But-

"It's kinda cold out for a walk, Donnie," Leo said, placing his warm hand on my cold shoulder. Yes, it _was _Leo. He was back, finally!

"Leo?" I asked incredulously, holding back my tears… tears of happiness… and sadness.

"Hey, Bro," Leo greeted softly with his wonderful smirk. I'd missed that smile of his.

"You're… you're back," I managed to say. I couldn't _believe_ he was here beside me… so close to me.

"Yeah, I'm back. Sorry that trip took me so long. But you gave me a lot to think about, Donnie." My eyes narrowed a bit. Oh yeah. Sure he's been thinking… thinking of the best way to say "no". I started to shiver a little. Shell, I was cold!

"You okay? We could talk once we're home, you know," Leo said.

"…I don't have anything to say, Leo. And I know what _you're_ going to say, so… I just don't care anymore," I lied. I stood up, gathering my dignity and starting to walk away.

"Donnie, I… what about that night?" Leo insisted as he followed behind me. He grabbed my arm and made me face him. This is worse than any torture. I sighed heavily before I spoke again, trying to make it look like this wasn't affecting me.

"That night I was dying. I didn't know what I was doing, okay? I… I kissed y-you because…" I stuttered.

When I was about to speak again, I felt Leo's hands cupping my face and pressing our lips together. I can't believe it! He's… kissing me! I… I must be dreaming… or maybe I'm dead! Who cares now! Leo is _kissing me_!

"How about now, huh? Neither of us is dying," Leo smirked after he broke the kiss. I was speechless.

"W-what… what did you just…?" I managed to say.

"It seemed like the only way to let you know what I decided," Leo answered, wiping the tears on my cheeks with his thumb. "It took a lot of thinking… but I realized… loving someone is _not_ bad. Especially when that someone… is your best friend ever. This won't affect our family. And my leadership? Well, I guess I'll just have to deal with that, but still… I accept this," Leo said, nuzzling me and pulling me into a hug.

"I love you, Donnie." This is not a dream. This is real! I can't help but cry again… happy tears.

"I love you too, Leo," I sobbed. Leo tilted my chin up and kissed me again. And it was the most tender kiss in the world.

"We better get back home. You're freezing," he informed me. We started to make our way to the lair. But I had one more question.

"Leo, how did you find me?" He grinned at the question.

"You're not the only one who knows how to use the tracking device, Li'l Bro," Leo said, chuckling. Heh. I missed that too. I leaned my head against his shoulder as we trekked home.

* * *

It's been a year since Leo and I started dating… and here I am. It's the best day of my life. Better than April and Casey's wedding. Better than the day Leo accepted my feelings on the roof. Better than the day Mikey scarfed down four pies and threw up on his and Raph's bed. Which day is this, you ask? What day could possibly be better than all those things combined?

…

…

Ding ding ding. My wedding day. Mine and Leo's, that is. We're in the farmhouse, like last time, but only our closest friends are here: our brothers, father, April and Casey, Leatherhead, the Fugitoid (he's the priest) and Angel. Neither Leo nor I are fans of big parties and crowds of people. We wanted something small, and agreed to let anyone else see the wedding via webcam (ah, the wonders of modern technology). I know, I know… doesn't sound conventional but… Hey! It's _our_ wedding after all! Raph agreed to be Leo's best man and April was psyched to be my maid of honor. Guess that makes me the girl.

Leo's wearing a haori and hakama (since he's the groom and this is all Japanese style). In my case… yeah, I'm wearing a kimono. But it's kind of nice. I like it. Shell, the ceremony's started… I'm so nervous!

* * *

The ceremony was beautiful! I'M MARRIED, at last! I've never been so happy in my whole life! Now I understand why Mikey was all cheery and hyperactive after his. All the guests gave us their best wishes and the gifts are wonderful! Raph and Mikey had a contest to see who could eat the most wedding cake. April put on a beautiful wedding song for us to have our first dance to as a married couple. I looked into his eyes, his happy, breathtaking eyes, and a second later the song had ended. Still don't know what happened there. Don't really care.

And now… only one thing remains: Leo's and my first night together. Mikey talked with me about that… and so did April. Let just say they have… experience on that sort of thing, you now? I'm still not entirely sure about this, but Leo told me if that I wasn't ready, we wouldn't do it. But I told him I was as ready as I'd ever be, which is true, so… here I am. The master bedroom is simply glorious; April did a great job. I must say. I continued to admire the spotless room with tasteful furniture and a soft-looking bed. Suddenly, I felt Leo hugging me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"The ceremony was incredible," Leo stated, mumbling into my skin. It sent chills down my spine.

"Yeah, it was," I agreed. I definitely agree.

"You looked so beautiful in your kimono." That comment made me blush fiercely. Over a year into our relationship and he can still make me blush with the simplest of compliments!

"Thanks. You didn't look half bad yourself, I have to say." Leo chuckled and kissed my cheek, which warmed up considerably at the contact. We didn't take our time as we both got rid of our outfits and made our way to the bed. Don't get me wrong. I _enjoyed_ wearing the kimono. But this felt more natural to me. And they were... in the way.

Leo kissed me again as he caressed my cheek.

"You sure you want to do this tonight? I can wait," he asked. The eyes I had learned to love were studying my face intently while he awaited my answer, half-filled with lust, half-filled with love and concern.

"I'm sure, Leo. Really." And I meant it. I _am _ready. He kissed me again, more passionately this time.

"Alright. We'll take it slow and it'll be okay," he said, still petting me in that affectionate way I loved so much. I think the statement was to himself as much as me. I nodded anyway and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him again as I closed my eyes… enjoying the feeling. He noticeably relaxed at my obvious eagerness and gave into his and my desires, letting go his worry and hesitation.

I could feel feather-like touches all over my body. Who'd have imagined Leo could be so delicate and full of passion? Our lips met more than once. Our breathing quickened as he deepened the kiss. And everything after that was perfect.

Mikey was telling the truth when he said it would hurt. No biggie. It was my first time, after all… Besides, after a few seconds… everything was okay again. It's strange. I never thought it possible to feel so many different emotions all at the same time. It felt incredible, and I think it was pretty clear that Leo thought the same. Leo, my lover, my _husband_. He was mine now. And I was his. The thought made me so happy I could cry.

Afterward, Leo wrapped his arms around me protectively, caressing my cheek again and breathing softly. I swear I've never been so tired in my life. But according to everything I've ever read on the subject, that's completely natural.

"You okay?" Leo asked, clearly having trouble keeping his eyes open.

"Yeah… feeling sleepy, though," I said while yawning.

"That's good. It's kinda late anyway… we should sleep. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day," Leo mumbled, his gentle strokes never ceasing. I loved how lazy his voice sounded. It was something people rarely, if ever, heard. Leo, constantly on guard, always uptight. He relaxed for me, and I felt honored. I kissed his cheek before I refocused on what he said. Tomorrow?

"How so?" I asked in curiosity.

"We're going to Japan for our honeymoon." He certainly didn't beat around the bush answering. That's how I knew he was exhausted. Wait.. _Japan?_ Okay, I hadn't expected that! But that's a nice surprise. He was going to take me to his beloved Japan. His _sanctuary_. The place he went when he had a problem to sort out. When he needed peace of mind.

"Really? That's great!" I said brightly, honestly. This was such an honor to me. That Leo loved me enough to share it with me. To want me there with him. To want to make our first memories together as a married couple in the place he loved like no other. His home away from home. I was overjoyed to say in the least, and surprised how mention of his plans for us had brought me energy I didn't know I had in me. Shell, I was practically bouncing with glee! It's a wonder I wasn't jumping on the bed right now!

"I know we've been there for training mostly. But don't worry; it'll be different this time," Leo said and kissed me softly. Never hath a truer statement been uttered. I knew this in my heart. I brought my hand up to twine our fingers together and let out a soft, pseudo-petulant sigh.

"_Everything_ will be different now," I fixed, smirking. He smiled too, without opening his eyes. "Love you, Leo."

"Love you too, Donnie," Leo answered back. We both fell asleep immediately.

* * *

Now, you may be asking: Hey, was this really an odyssey? Yes, maybe, I don't know… probably not? It's kinda hard to say. I suppose it all depends on your point of view. For me? Indubitably. This was an odyssey. It was more difficult and more agonizing than any fight I ever could have had with the Shredder. It tore at my very sanity. And I'm not proud to say: it brought me to the verge of suicide multiple times.

But that's all in the past now. I prevailed. And I've never been happier to be alive. Of course I loved how things were before, when we were all brothers. And there's no doubt things will be different now. No telling what will happen. Where our lives will lead, but… if there's one thing I can confidently say about the future, it's that our new life, together, will be just as great as our old existence… I can feel it.

The End

* * *

Annnnnnd cut! Very good job, boys, very good job.

D: Thanks! I really _felt_ the character in that last scene.

L: Where's my latte? I know I asked for one.

R: I got yer latte right here!

*typical Leo/Raph fight commences*

Yeah. I can totally see Leo as a petty actor. That turtle is ARROGANT. I think so, at least. Anyway, those of you who liked this might be wondering about a sequel. And I'll tell you, YES. There IS a sequel in the making. We kept it a surprise until the chapter, but Who and I have discussed it and think it would be worth writing. Of course, this time it will be posted on HER page. Yes, that means you will HAVE to go to her profile page if you haven't already. The thing I've been telling you to do for a while now. She has some awesome stuff up there. I recommend taking an afternoon to thoroughly explore her page. Her stories are so cute. ^ ^ And plentiful. So do that.

And thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. As well as everyone who read this, put this in their favorites or story alert, and just stuck with us till the end. It's been a joy for all involved. I even enjoyed the flames. Thank you CrazyNutSquirrel, Shojo Sensei, Kate Maxwell, artychick7, Alex, milkywaymidnight, Halloween Witch, Annerizu-san, DonnieLover, Angel, and FD. Goodness there's a lot of you. But it is complete! Yay! Let's have a super party! With soda and dancing, turtles and ssbb! You're all invited! Can I get a SHELL YEAH!

...

...

Okay I need Tylenol. Goodbye for now.


End file.
